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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my 6 year old is hard work.

28 replies

MrsElizabethShelby · 30/06/2019 10:20

We have just had a great row because all they have done is whinge and whine about EVERY FUCKING THING so far today.

So far my morning has been a bit like this;

They wanted paddling pool, they got it. The top ring has a puncture whine i want the pool up properly patient explaination but I WANT it to Mummy whine whine whine

its too COLD gets warm water its too HOT

Shut up whinging and play with your sibling

I can't get up mummy what? i can't get up mummy and I'm cold yes you can get up. Get up DC.
Cries but I can't move mummy yes you can. GET UP. i can't hear you mummy yes you can, get up. no I can't mummy I need hellllllp

This went on until I lost my temper and picked them up off the floor and they are currently sulking on the sofa

So so sick of this behaviour

I mean what the actual fuck? They have been like this for a few days and have been like it on and off their whole life.

Aibu to think they are the most hard work NF 6 year old in the world?

OP posts:
Sockworkshop · 30/06/2019 10:22

If mine whined they were "too tired" and got sent to bed early.
Worked a treat.

Original poster
MrsElizabethShelby · 30/06/2019 10:29

At 10.30 in the morning?

OP posts:
FMFL · 30/06/2019 10:31

You have just described my 6 year old.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 30/06/2019 10:31

Have been wondering about this age 6 behaviour recently.

I dunno if you agree with me but I have a theory.

Is it that they've always been like this, but because at 6 they're more advanced in other ways, so the whining now seems a bit jarring?

Am guessing they just mature in different ways at different speeds so while they may display some more grown up traits they still have some more toddlerish traits, but will eventually even out as they get a bit older.

This is what I'm hoping!

IVEgottheDECAF · 30/06/2019 10:33

I send mine to her room if she is being silly like this

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/06/2019 10:33

Tbh all 6yos are exhausting. Ds is nearing 5 and has suddenly developed RADA qualified levels of acting devastated if he so much as trips over. It ruins all days out. I'm attempting the ignoring. It's testing me. Even the 8yo gets eye rolly about it.

I just give mine ultimatum where I can. Damaged paddling pool or no paddling pool your choice.
The water you have or no water at all.
Get up now or I'll leave you behind.

It's tiring, and doesn't have 100% accuracy, but I'm not becoming my child's bitch Grin

thewinkingprawn · 30/06/2019 10:35

I tell them I can’t hear whiny voices so I make them repeat the sentence until they say it in a proper voice. They soon get bored. 3 children in I have a zero tolerance policy for any whining. They get nothing if they whine. If it goes on they get led straight to a dull room to sit by themselves. Cannot stand it.

TheSmallAssassin · 30/06/2019 10:36

Could you not have just helped them up? You've just got to let the whining wash over you, they're not doing it to wind you up. When mine were really bad they were either knackered or a couple of days later came down with something. Sounds a bit like end of term-itis to me, it's a long old school year for the young ones.

Fatted · 30/06/2019 10:36

My 6YO is like this. Whines all the time he's not getting his own way. He's also taken to answering back and trying to argue his way out of things more. I used to be able to shut him down with a polite 'complaining isn't going to change things'. Now I have to use the batman voice and send him to his room for arguing back!!

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 30/06/2019 10:37

My niece has always been like this. She’s now 11. She is massively indulged by her parents which I think doesn’t help. I love her to bits I really do. But the sound of her voice when she’s on one makes me want to tear my own ears off so I can’t hear her.

RubberTreePlant · 30/06/2019 10:37

I was getting broody again. Thanks for the contraceptive help.

Nautiloid · 30/06/2019 10:39

One of my 9yos can be like this. I do find it really exhausting, I try to work on understanding his emotions and modelling positivity etc, but sometimes I feel like yelling constantly.

Sexnotgender · 30/06/2019 10:40

tell them I can’t hear whiny voices so I make them repeat the sentence until they say it in a proper voice. They soon get bored. 3 children in I have a zero tolerance policy for any whining. They get nothing if they whine. If it goes on they get led straight to a dull room to sit by themselves. Cannot stand it.

Ditto. Whining is awful. I refuse to reward it.

Tallgreenbottle · 30/06/2019 10:42

Sounds like a normal 6yr old. He just wants your attention. You know... Because you're his Parent. And that's your job.

Original poster
MrsElizabethShelby · 30/06/2019 10:46

@rubbertreeplant 😂 your welcome!

I'm afraid it definitely feels like they are doing it on purpose to wind me up and unfortunately I have a short fuse.

I could have just helped them up yes, but I don't feel that I should put up with such ridiculous nonsense.

It makes me seriously worry for their mental health. Their dad suffers badly with depression and anxiety and I worry it's something like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsElizabethShelby · 30/06/2019 10:48

@tallgreenbottle

They get my attention. All the time. Poor DC2 hardly gets a look in sometimes and they don't kick off like DC1

OP posts:
TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 30/06/2019 10:52

DD is 6 and also whines and gets annoyed irrationally sometimes. She gets told I can't understand her when she speaks like that. That's usually enough for her to speak properly. If not, I ask if she wants a cuddle which if she does usually gives her the few moments to calm down and then ask/tell me what she actually wants. I also find that, like her dad, she gets grumpy if she hasn't drunk enough so always worth just giving a quick drink to check it's not just slight dehydration.

I don't think telling your kids to shut up is helpful, it's rude to tell an adult to shut up, but I know how annoying the whining can be. We also banned all whiny voiced TV characters in our house looking at you, Bing which was relatively easy as we don't have regular telly, just Netflix and Prime so she just isn't allowed to pick those programmes.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 30/06/2019 11:06

Poor DC2 hardly gets a look in sometimes and they don't kick off like DC1

I think this is your answer. 6yo has learned they get extra attention through whining. Is there any way of just not rising to it/not prioritising it so that both kids get the same amount of attention regardless of who is whining?

TheSmallAssassin · 30/06/2019 11:16

MrsElizabethShelby, it might feel like they're doing it on purpose to wind you up, but you're the adult here, you have to remind yourself that they really aren't. Honestly, they probably just can't help themselves.

Mine would generally get unbearable this time of year (they're teenagers now, so they're unbearable all year round 😂) and once I clocked what it was, it was easier to be patient.

Haworthia · 30/06/2019 11:21

You have my sympathy OP. Also, have some wine later.

Because I know you just want to vent. Unfortunately the judgey perfect parents will be out in force to berate you (I see some have already started) but please let that wash over you... just like the incessant whining Grin

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 30/06/2019 11:30

DD6 went thru a phase of whining.
I told her when she whines it makes her invisible so i can't see or hear her, cue me then walking around the house blissfully ignoring her, sometimes it would end in tears but after a very, VERY, long half term she's not done it since! Grin

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 30/06/2019 11:35

I love that MissPolly Grin

My kids have been known to whinge, all kids do I think. I tell mine to repeat what they’ve said in a proper voice or I’m not interested. I do the same with the niece mentioned above. She spends most of her time in my company giving me daggers because of this. Shame.

Sockworkshop · 30/06/2019 12:54

Yes OP
Whine = you are too tired to play in the pool/park etc
They got the message very quickly if they were put in their room

georgie262 · 30/06/2019 13:02

My 4 yo who has always been a total dream baby toddler preschooler has just started this incessant whining and I have no patience for it. She'll even whine that she needs a wee. Okay fine just go for a fucking wee then. It's so, so tiring.

Skyejuly · 30/06/2019 13:03

My 6 yr old is the hardest of my 4 at the moment. So so whiny. Relentless