It’s been over 12 hours now and I am still shaking at home.
Sorry for long post but do not want to drip feed:
For the last year, DP and I had our mobiles on the same plan that was auto debited from my checking account.
Shortly after we did that, I got a new job which provided me with a new phone and paid all costs associated with that phone and I essentially turned off my old phone and stopped using it.
Each month I would see that we were being charged ~£100. It seemed expensive but since my DP needed to use his phone, I couldn’t figure out a way to log in and check why that was the case, so just assumed that was the plan we were on.
It’s now been a year, and I asked DP if he could please pay me back for the mobile phone bill that had been coming out of my account. Given what I had seen coming out of my account over the last several months, I asked for 1,000 and then another 300 to take care of the next 3 months of mobile bills.
Today on the way to brunch, I decided to call the phone company while in the car to get my online username set up, make sure the June bill was paid and finally ask why it was so expensive. Midway through the conversation DP grabbed the phone and started talking to the customer service woman. I thought nothing of it as I had hoped it could get switched over to his name anyway.
After he hung up, he threw the phone at me, and started screaming at me, hitting the steering wheel, saying, you fucking cunt, you whore, you really thought you could get away with it didn’t you.
I was so scared as he was driving and I said, I don’t understand what’s happened? And he kept yelling at me, calling me a thief and a liar and a whore, saying I am no better than a common whore that sleeps for money. During this time he picked up a glass and a plastic water bottle that were in the console and emptied them on to my head and sprayed them on my clothes and then threw the empty ones at me and my face.
It turns out that of that £100 monthly bill I got charged each month, actually £75-85 was my phone because I had been on a more expensive plan and when he transferred me the £1300 to reimburse me for the last year he had overpaid me.
I kept telling him I was sorry and I had no idea that it was my phone that was so expensive, I hadn’t seen a real bill since last May. I was trying to tell him that it wasn’t malicious or scheming on my end but just an innocent mistake.
And he just kept yelling at me and telling me I was no different than his two major exes and I was just a money grubbing whore that thought she could get away with stealing money from him and taking advantage of him.
I was so terrified in the car that as soon as we got home I went inside and he drove off. He has since texted and said I was a liar and a thief and that he can never trust me for what I did and our relationship is off.
I am still shaking hours later and just don’t understand what I did which was so wrong. I could understand maybe feeling annoyed for having overpaid me, but I had always told him previously that I don’t have access to our online bills, it was just an auto debit.
I truly felt scared and could not make him see that it was just a mistake. If it were me, I would have gotten off the phone, had me set up the online login, figured out how much was owed to him and directly paid him.
We had been going through a rough patch but this was truly scary.
So AIBU to think his response did not justify what happened or reading this interaction do you think I am to blame for not having spent the time checking what the breakdown of the bill was? I truly did not even think about it that way as I hadn’t even touched that phone since last year.