To dare to hope he could love me?

[BigBillyBob]

I’m at the point where I’m about to give up on a guy who I’m very very attracted to. I’m wondering if in giving up on him and the prospect of ever being with him, I’ll give off vibes that will turn things around.

Did you ever have a guy chase after you or declare his feelings for you after you had finally given up hope? Did it work out?

I think once you've been friends for a while it can be tricky to change the dynamic as there's a risk it'll ruin the friendship if feelings aren't reciprocated. In your case I think just tell him or ask him if he thinks you could ever be more than friends. My sister was friends with a lovely guy for seven years then suddenly both their circumstances changed and they've now been married for 25 years!

I would tell him how you feel and see how he reacts.

In my experience, if a man wants to be with you, he makes it very clear and most importantly, his actions reflect it. He doesn't leave you guessing or make you chase.

If he doesn't really want to be with you, he'll be wishy washy and you'll be left wondering. Or he'll just come out and say so.

I’m yet to meet a bloke who hasn’t been able to tell a woman he likes them if he does

That's not my experience. Sorry to say but they do mostly tell you. However If I like a man and for whatever reason I don't know how he feels I would just ask him what was going on.

OP before you walk away what reason do you have for not laying your cards on the table and telling him how you feel? What do you have to lose? I imagine a scenario where in 3 years you meet the love of your life but you let that relationship get ruined because you still hold a torch for this current man. The chances are he is not interested but why not get that fact confirmed. There is always a chance he would surprise you. Just ask him!!!

I would say I've liked you for a while now, I really don't know if you feel the same and am a bit confused. I would love to go on a date soon but if you don't feel the same hope we can still be friends and wont mention this again: -). Either way let me know. love bigbillybob*

He is just a male friend OP. Either keep him as a friend or move on.

He’s just not that into you

OP I absolutely feel your pain am in exactly same scenario half of me knows that it isn't ever going to go anywhere then the other stupid half of me answers his calls at one in the morning. It's a shit pill to swallow but we are better off with someone who really makes us happy xx

What I’ve learnt over the years is that if you have to push, or manipulate, or trick someone into loving you it won’t work. The right relationship will be effortless. It will just happen. You won’t need to think about it, or make chess moves to elicit the response you want. Trust me this is a sign that there’s something better out there for you. Cut your losses and move on.

Keep him as a friend and start dating other men.

Men do not always make their feelings known. Probably for the same reasons women do not always declare their feelings.

I agree with others that I wouldn't play games here. But I disagree that everything should always be effortless.

If you've reached the stage where you're thinking of seeing someone else, then why not first tell him how you feel and see what happens? If he says no, then at least you know and you can look elsewhere.

Ok so you're friends and you've developed feelings for him. You're not going to tell him and just hope that he declares his undying love for you.
He hasn't yet so you don't want to be friends now.

Is that the gist of it? Weird.

Are you the same OP who has created thread after thread about this??

Your both married? But have secret phone calls?
He lent you a dvd or something?

If you are too seriously need to get a grip and sort your self out!

If you're not then sorry.

Oh for goodness sake, the conversations you describe could easily be you both sounding each other out and neither giving anything away. Just bite the bullet and tell him you like him. If you’re considering ending the friendship over this anyway you have nothing left to lose.

Nothing ventured...

So every time he's asked if you're interested (admittedly vaguely) you've basically said no, not relevant, you don't need to know.
And you won't tell him how you feel be ause it'll ruin the relationship.
But you're considering just walking away anyway.

But it's his fault for not telling you how he feels.

Just tell him. Or just kiss him.

curtainpole12 not me thankfully!