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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH driving me bloody mad!

23 replies

ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 21:05

Tonight DH has walked along a dusty, dirty garden path in our garden in bare feet, then come into the house and traipsed through the clean ground floor rooms. Admittedly it’s all hard flooring but still extremely irritating - why can’t he just put a pair of shoes on when he’s outside instead of bringing dirt in?

I also spent ages getting our new garden table in just the right position on the patio so it didn’t wobble - and he then goes and promptly moves it for no apparent reason. It’s now wobbly again.

He also opened the very old windows in our dining room today, despite me saying that curtains and windows closed is the best way to keep the room cool in this hot weather. I came in to find them wide open, tried to shut them and they didn’t close properly, because they’re very old, sticky windows. DH finally got them shut after a lot of jiggling but his finger prints are now all over the newly cleaned glass we paid the window cleaners to do just two weeks ago.

AIBU to be irritated by this behaviour and wish he’d just leave all house matters to me?!

Arrrrrggghhh!

OP posts:
ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 21:07

And yes, I admit I am quite particular and like things done a certain way. But still!!

OP posts:
ChippingInLowCarbing · 29/06/2019 21:07

Part of me is totally you and the other part wonders why the man can’t do as HE pleases in his home so I’m no help, sorry

NCforthis2019 · 29/06/2019 21:08
Confused
adaline · 29/06/2019 21:09

Goodness me - you sound very controlling!

GreenGrowTheRushesOhh · 29/06/2019 21:09

the other part wonders why the man can’t do as HE pleases in his home

Something tells me he's not going to be the one cleaning the floors or the windows, so.....

ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 21:11

Oh dear - really? Maybe I need to relax a bit. It’s just infuriating when (to give one example) I cleaned all the floors earlier and he walked over them in dirty bare feet just several hours later... especially when it’s so easily avoided!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 29/06/2019 21:11

Why is it controlling to not want someone to come and undo all the work you've just done?

ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 21:13

Something tells me he's not going to be the one cleaning the floors or the windows, so.....

He just has lower standards than I do I guess on this kind of thing, so seeing finger prints wouldn’t bother him... whereas I am the opposite!

OP posts:
user1494055864 · 29/06/2019 21:14

Yes OP, you definitely need to let him have more control - hand him the floor mop Wink

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 29/06/2019 21:14

No that would really irritate me too. Unless he cleaned the dusty doors, de wobbled the garden table and then cleaned the smudged smeary windows

If he does all that YABU
If he doesn’t YANBU

bluebell34567 · 29/06/2019 21:16

if he cleaned the floors and the windows he wouldnt do the mess.

AufderAutobahn · 29/06/2019 21:19

Normally when I read the phrase "I like things done a certain way" it triggers alarm bells about control, however given he's reversed all the hard work you've done, he needs to bloody well get it back to how it was before he messed it up! I'd be pissed off too OP x

Elliesmommy · 29/06/2019 21:19

Sounds like hes treated like a child. It's his house too. Is it really that big of a deal?

adaline · 29/06/2019 21:22

Why is it controlling to not want someone to come and undo all the work you've just done?

It's not that that makes it controlling - it's the general tone of the OP.

Tallgreenbottle · 29/06/2019 21:25

Why can't he do what he wants? You're not his boss Confused It's his house too.

ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 21:25

It's not that that makes it controlling - it's the general tone of the OP.

Just at the end of my tether I guess.

OP posts:
ElloBrian · 29/06/2019 21:28

Well he’s going to be cleaning the floors and the windows then isn’t he.

chamenanged · 29/06/2019 21:55

He also opened the very old windows in our dining room today, despite me saying that curtains and windows closed is the best way to keep the room cool in this hot weather.

That would drive me up the wall. It's not controlling to want to keep your house cool in stifling heat. He sounds like a child.

TixieLix · 29/06/2019 22:04

My husband is another one who opens windows thinking the room (in direct sunlight) will keep cool but all it does is let the hot air inside.

Darkcloudsandsunnydays · 29/06/2019 22:06

You need your own abode. Other people annoy you.

ncyetagain211 · 29/06/2019 22:16

You need your own abode. Other people annoy you.

I think you’re right... Grin

OP posts:
Di11y · 29/06/2019 22:31

I'm a big fan of tidying up your own messes from an early age, hand him the window cloth and spray, and mop.

would you get less irate if you knew he'd sort that mess rather than leave it to you?

Doormat247 · 29/06/2019 22:34

That would drive me mad too.

My ex husband once stormed off after an argument and when he came back I found he'd walked dog shit all through the house. He'd left his shoes on to annoy me without realising what he'd stood in 😒

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