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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

9 year old daughter’s ‘friend’ teasing her constantly about her ‘monobrow’

45 replies

Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:10

Aibu to feel gutted for her? She gets them from me. She’ll give them a wee pluck in the middle when she’s ready, or not, and be happy with them, like I am. Same girl told her her legs are too hairy too. She does have very hairy legs. The comments are clearly designed to upset my daughter.

Her friend can be horrible. She isn’t her bestie but they spend time together every week as they do a long activity together. The friend has always been dismissive of my daughter and fair weather and sometimes plain rude. My daughter used to be quite a wallflower but has blossomed in every way, she’s very pretty and become quite popular too. But these comments really upsetting her and I think her insecurity both about herself and ‘fighting back’ stems from her days less confident. She said sometimes the friend just goes ‘name’ and points to between her eyebrows. I am red hot fuming just writing this.

My daughter won’t fight back. She says she doesn’t want to tease her in return. She says if she says something the friend won’t give a shit. What should I do? Tell her mum? Tell the school? Or just tell my daughter to put up with it, as she clearly won’t say anything herself (she told me tonight but said it’s been going on ages). is this a normal right of passage? I had massive brows, never received any comments from friends (to my face at least!). I don’t remember anyone making such openly horrible comments about someone’s personal features.

OP posts:
Pinkfinkle · 28/06/2019 23:12

Show her Frida Kahlo if you haven’t already. My DD’s have the Little People Big Dreams books as well as a Frida doll. I’ve always been a huge Frida fan so also have a tattoo, cushion covers, babygrow for DS and a tote bag Grin. Anyway, when my DD came home complaining of similar I told her how Frida actually pronounced her monobrow because it made her special and unique.

Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:17

Thanks pink - I did show her cara delevigne and an article where she said she used to hate the brows which she eventually popularised. She did find that a comfort. But what to do about the friend? Or is it about my daughter dealing with it herself?

After showing her Cara She said ‘I still hate them’ and did say ‘you don’t hate them, your friend does, that’s not the same.’

Will look up Frida.

OP posts:
Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:18

Sorry that should say ‘I did say you don’t hate them...’ tired

OP posts:
GibbonLover · 28/06/2019 23:29

After showing her Cara She said ‘I still hate them’ and did say ‘you don’t hate them, your friend does, that’s not the same.’

Hang on a min, your DD has just said she hates her monobrow and you've basically dismissed this? And what does 'She’ll give them a wee pluck in the middle when she’s ready, or not, and be happy with them, like I am' actually mean? Do you mean that she already DOES pluck the centre or do you mean that she might do in the future?

CD doesn't even have a monobrow. Obviously, she would if she just left them but she freely admits that she does remove the hair in the middle.

metro.co.uk/2013/03/05/cara-delevingne-admits-i-have-a-secret-uni-brow-but-i-never-pluck-wax-or-thread-my-eyebrows-3527205/

RoxanneMonke · 28/06/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:36

No I didn’t dismiss her at all. I gave her the options (legs and brows) and said come to me if you want to do it. But I did say do it because YOU want to, not your ‘friend’.

She doesn’t hate her brows. She hates the teasing. She isn’t vain. She wouldn’t think about these things unless someone pointed it out. So I worry that she’d be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

OP posts:
Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:38

And I showed her Cara because of exactly that - she has my daughters brows but has evidently plucked the middle. That’s what I was showing her - look at this woman who used to hate her brows and now gets paid millions because she looks so bloody awesome and embraced her nemesis.

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Birdie6 · 28/06/2019 23:39

If it is bothering her, I'd get the eyebrows done for her. Same with her legs. My DD had very hairy legs and at 10 she started shaving, which made her feel better . The age is not relevant to me, it's how they feel about it.

Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:41

Birdie I don’t think salons would do it for her. How would I do it? I pluck. It hurts like hell. She’d hate it. Wax is over and done with.

OP posts:
detangler · 28/06/2019 23:42

She’s 9. My goodness. My DDs were still into board games and playmobil at that age. It’s terribly sad that obsessing over appearance has come sooner and sooner.

Meanmate · 28/06/2019 23:43

She is into playing and board games. This issue has been raised for her. I don’t think she’d have noticed for an awful long time.

OP posts:
detangler · 28/06/2019 23:44

Sorry that wasn’t helpful. Is mean friend’s Mum nice? Or is she also mean? If she’s nice I’d have a word — but OTOH mean friend must have learnt it from somewhere...

detangler · 28/06/2019 23:45

I meant I wasn’t being helpful. Wasn’t trying to criticise your DD, rather the modern world!!

pikapikachu · 28/06/2019 23:46

My dd faced the same comment when she was your DD's age. She started plucking at age 9 and is much happier. She is lucky not to need filling in her brows as they are nice and thick like her Dad.

Notgotajarofglue · 28/06/2019 23:49

My dd has had her monobrow waxed from being 8 salons are happy to do it

Meanmate · 29/06/2019 00:03

Thanks detangler, I completely agree. It’s so bloody sad. And mean.

Meangirl’s mum is very nice. She’d be horrified and very cross. But that would help my daughter, she’d be in the girls bad books even more.

I did suggest she distance herself. She’s going to her house next week. I suggested she doesn’t go andcsays why. She said girl won’t care and doesn’t like her that much anyway. I said ‘what’s to lose then’?

Tough chat for a 9 year old. She did say ‘maybe everyone has their turn to get teased?’. I suppose my main issue is being furious with the child, whereas I need to concentrate on helping my daughter deal with it - emotionally rather than necessarily physically.

My salon won’t do it. They aren’t insured?

OP posts:
Meanmate · 29/06/2019 00:04

That WOULDNT help my daughter - sorry!

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Meanmate · 29/06/2019 00:05

My other worry is that if she does it, she’ll get teased for that. Or because of her hairy legs. Why should she feel she has to change her perfect gorgeous face at 9 just because of some bitchy girl?

OP posts:
detangler · 29/06/2019 00:18

Yes I wondered about that as well. She plucks her brows and still gets teased. I would be making the decision for her at this point. “Oh dear you’re double booked the day you were supposed to go to meangirl’s house — id forgotten that favourite auntie is visiting/we have cinema tix/etc. And avoid as much as poss.

Greensleeves · 29/06/2019 00:23

At that age if I knew the mother well I would have had a quiet word. I would have wanted to know if mine were behaving like that, and I would have done something about it.

Trying to put a bit of distance between the girls is also good advice.

Queenoftheashes · 29/06/2019 00:28

She should just explain to her “friend” that big bad eyebrows are in. I had a monobrow now I feel like I should be drawing more on!

babysharkah · 29/06/2019 00:44

Sort the eyebrow, if she wants. It's all well and good saying don't have to but if you WANT to, that's a different thing.as an adult I would want it sorted it's one thing having w brow, completely different having a mono brow.

Ihatehashtags · 29/06/2019 01:42

I’d buy some proper wax and do it yourself. Are her legs really hairy and dark? If she doesn’t like them I’d get them done too or wax yourself.

lyralalala · 29/06/2019 02:41

I’d want to know if my DD was being as mean as that child

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