To cut friend out of my life

[kazzy1988]

1st of all I'm sorry for the long post/rant
Aibu to cut my mate from my life totally. We have been friends on and off since high school and we were really close at 1 point. So close in fact she was my head bridesmaid when I got married to dh. My dd1 and her dd were till a few months ago best friends but that's another story. I have always been there when my friend has needed me to be. I have literally dropped everything to go running to her and its got to the point were I don't want to anymore. It's just 1 drama after another. It seems the only time she rings or texts is when she wants something ie pick the kids up from school or can I watch them so she can go out. She is always complaining that she never gets time to herself as she's a single parent but the kids go to the dads every other weekend and her mum has them for 1 weekend a month so she is out nearly every weekend were I haven't been out since Christmas as we struggle to get a babysitter (our parents watch the kids while we work so feel rude to ask them to watch them more). Tonight she rang to ask if I could have her ds1+2 as she needed a break as ds1 has adhd and he's playing up. I said no as I'm packing for our hols that's on Monday and I wanted a chilled out bath plus I have no where to sleep them. She just sent a really snotty message saying I'm never there for her and i don't know what it's like being a single mum. now I grew up without my dad and my husband works 12 hour days 6 days a week so I'm pretty much on my own with the dc most of the time so I do know how hard it is to try and bring up dc on your own. Am I right to tell her that's enough and to cut her out of my life completely as I'm not sure how much drama I can take

YANBU. Tell her at she gets 3 whole weekends off per month and you don’t even get a day off.

She’s a user, ditch. Why have you never asked her to babysit so you and DH can go out?

Yes I think you would be justified in cutting the friendship. It does not sound like a two-way street and she seems selfish and self-absorbed.

I'm a single parent without a co-parent, and if she thinks that being child-free for three weekends a month is "never getting time to herself", she is deluded.

Not sure you can go back now anyway given that she has hurt your feelings this much. Drop her and invest your time in friends who don't invalidate you.

You can cut her out if you want - it seems a one way relationship. But please don’t say you know what it’s like to bring up a child on your own. You have a partner and being a parent is not just the physical caretaking.

Step back from this "friendship". I get more free time now l am divorced then l ever did married.

I wouldn't compare your situation to being a single mum but only because you said no to watching her children over night for the one weekend she does have them, saying youre never there for her? That's not right. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that friendships should be easy, it shouldn't be hard work, you shouldn't have to worry and if you say no to something, she shouldn't make you feel bad about it. We all lead busy lives and have children.... & it should be a two way street, giving and getting. Obviously, there is time where one person needs more support and then the other but generally, it should just be easy, so if this friendship is causing you stress & by the walking away you are taking care of yourself - go for it!