To feel like a sitting duck?

[Duckyduckyquackquack]

DH has this evening informed me that he will be going out with colleagues tomorrow night, ahead of his week-long work trip starting on Monday.

I'm absolutely not in the habit of stopping him going out but I could really use the support right now. I'm on mat leave with my 2 month old. Also have a toddler who is largely gorgeous but is sometimes a bit unpredictable if she feels I'm spending too much time with the baby, in the form of hitting, crying, wetting herself etc. On top of that, I live in mainland Europe and we're in the middle of the heatwave so just trying to sit it out indoors, keeping the baby cool and the toddler calm.

It'll be the third time he's gone out this week - Monday he was out til about 9pm and then Tuesday just until 7.30pm.

He knows full well I'm having a difficult week and that I don't want him to go out tomorrow, but has taken himself off to bed to avoid talking about it.

I know I'm NBU to want him to parent his children. But I really feel entirely powerless. He goes out, does what he wants, and I have to sit at home like the good little wife. AIBU to think I'm a sitting duck and can't do anything about it?

I think many of us can relate to the 'mum is default childcare, dad can go on as if nothing has changed'.

I've felt like this many times. Don't want to say categorically NO as then we're the nasty women who stops them going out.

However, 3 times in a week when he'll be away all the following week is taking the piss big time. Your DH is being very unreasonable.
I'm afraid you're going to have to read the riot act.

If he continues to be a selfish arse then I'd be inclined to work to rule. Depending on whether you are BF, this could include dumping the screaming baby on him in the middle of the night and telling him it's his turn to feed but definitely no meals, washing, ironing for him.

On top of all reasons above, I hope there is cash to spend on yourself also op. That's a lot of spends he has imo!

I'd be asking 'What are you going to do to give me some time off from the kids before you go away for the week?'

Why can you not say what you have said here Op? 'I need you to be home with me and the dc, ahead of your work trip. You've already had 2 nights out this week. I need your support at home, the dc need you to parent them'.

I could not put up with this, i don't care how it comes across. Men with young kids should not get on with their lives like nothing has changed.

Pull the blanket up and slip a few ice cubes onto his feet and tell him you were just concerned about him overheating

He is taking the piss and his behaviour needs to change

He is taking the piss.