To not tell "best friend" about dads cancer?

[TeaDrinkingBumbleeBee]

I'll try to keep it short...

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago. I didn't tell anyone except for DP and two friends. It wasn't really a massive concern and it was early stages

Now he's having chemo and things aren't as good. I still haven't told anyone else, including one of my best friends.

I don't really want to tell her - AIBU?
She is the sort to ask lots of questions on the ins and outs of it, and I know she'll bring it up a lot. (I know she cares but she will literally bring up difficult stuff on a night out for example)

She gets really annoyed at me because she thinks I'm "secretive" but really I just don't find talking about things to my friends helps.

I'm worried that if/when she finds out she's going to be pissed off at me.

AIBU? Telling her would be more for her benefit than mine...

Its entirely up to you who you tell. No right minded person, especially a friend, is going to hold that against you. Take care

You're perfectly entitled to your privacy. Especially given the behaviour you describe from your friend - I can see how that would be extremely unhelpful.

I'm sorry about your dad.

My MIL thinks I'm secretive, I'm not, I just keep my private things private and am not an oversharer gossip like she is.

YANBU OP, whatever makes it easier for you and yours

I hate the way people ask intrusive questions about other people's health. It's not 'supportive' just nosy and self-serving.

Thanks for your kind responses everyone. This really helps.

I am worried she'll find out elsewhere - if she sees my parents then she will know (my dad has lost his hair due to chemo)

Not sure how to tackle it if she asks why he's lost his hair or if she out right says she knows.

Can you say you are respecting his privacy by not discussing his condition or that it’s aimply too upsetting to chat about?
If she can’t respect your need to deal with this in your own way then she’s not much of a friend really. It’s not about her.
Wishing you and your family all the best OP.

It’s up to you who you tell. As long as you have people around you who you can talk to about it, that’s all that matters
If she finds out just say you found it difficult to talk about, hopefully she’ll understand. It’s a hard one to bring up without just randomly blurting it out!
I’ve told people at work about my mums cancer because I see them every day and they notice if I’m absent for appointments. A couple have also had loved ones go through it so are good to talk to. I haven’t told all of my friends as I don’t want to do it over text and don’t want to sour a social occasion. I also find it hard to talk about. I’m sure they will understand.

@LtJudyHopps wishing your mum all the best too

Thanks guys. Reading this has made me feel better. Stupidly I'm getting more upset about her than my dad.

I think it's odd you have a 'best friend' who you can't speak to about serious things that are happening in your life, maybe you need to revaluate your friendship?

id be gutted if my best friend didn't feel she could tell me these things.

You are of course entitled to your privacy but I am another one who would feel a bit hurt that my best friend felt she couldn't tell me something as serious as this.
I think people can't do right from wrong, if we don't ask how people are then it looks like we don't care and if we do ask questions we are now being intrusive. It's a hard line. If it was me and I didn't want them asking questions, I'd tell my best friend and at the same time mention it is quite upsetting so I would rather not keep talking about it all the time.