Or is my boss and colleague?

[fairynick]

Fully prepares to be told that I was being unprofessional in this situation.
I work in an office call centre environment. It’s sales so male dominated but still a fair few women.
Today someone asked if I had a tampon so I said no sorry I don’t carry them anymore because I use a diva cup.
She was like “omg what’s that” so I explained in a girly chit chat way, not being loud just a conversation between the two is us. Also note that the office is loud and bantery, often lots of shouting and swearing, flirting etc. When I explained I wasn’t crude or used any strange words but I just told her what it was and how you used it and she had a giggle.
A manager then came over and said please can you keep that to yourself male colleague nearby doesn’t want to hear that.
He could surely have only heard if he was listening in, I wasn’t making a show of things.
Anyway was I being unreasonable or was my manager for allowing shouting swearing flirty behaviour but apparently period talk is a no no?

There's nothing undignified about having periods. Don't know why people keep talking about dignity

@BrokenWing in the same way we wouldn't talk about having a sweaty vagina because it's too hot. Those conversations are not appropriate for the workplace as the context is around sexualised body parts and could be a form of sexual harassment: the conversation isn't necessary.

Menstruation and the products available is female biology, and can be necessary given the frequency it occurs.

Just because it only happens to women, doesn't mean it has to be hidden from delicate, uneducated, immature males.

I think YABU

YANBU. Providing you weren’t giving a practical demonstration in the middle of the office, then you were just discussing anatomy. Horrible display of double standards on “professional” behaviour in your office.

@Yukka Thu 27-Jun-19 20:16:25

You can't be called up on something because of your gender. That's against the law.

That isn't true. Gender is not a protected characteristic. It is sex discrimination which is illegal.

I think it's a bit personal for a work environment, so I think you should have kept it more private when talking to your colleague. And if the manager could hear you, you were obviously louder than you realised.

Yanbu unless you were doing live demonstration on your desk

Keep complaining about the bantz. and if they say nothing mention your diva cup again

Email your manager. ‘Could I confirm the rules about conversation at work? Today I mentioned the diva cup very quietly to Jane and xx didn’t like it. Yesterday xx shouted ‘fuck off, cunt’ across the office. We could all hear but you said nothing. What are the rules?’ And see what he says...

I’m willing to agree that I was unreasonable because at the end of the day I did make someone feel uncomfortable and maybe it was tmi, but I think management are unreasonable to only stamp out certain behaviours which would obviously make things seem a bit sexist.
Guess it was a case of bit of both.

I think that there are levels of personal conversation. I'm all good with talking about periods at the level of 'period pain', etc. But a diva cup is an intimate device and describing its use will conjure imagery of sticking something up your vagina to catch blood. I (as a woman) would think that's inappropriate, just as I would think that two men discussing the intimacies of foreskin cleaning unsuitable.

@MuddlingMackem yes it's referenced as 'sex', I used the word gender as I wasn't quoting the act word for word.

a diva cup is an intimate device and describing its use will conjure imagery of sticking something up your vagina to catch blood

By the same token, OP's colleague should not have asked for a tampon then since she's going to shove it UP THERE

I can't see anything wrong with a man (anyone) learning about the existence and use of a menstrual cup.

Plus, again, if he didn't like it he shouldn't have eavesdropped on someone else's conversation.

Yanbu. It's a normal conversation and he was being a dick because he thinks periods are gross.

He took offence at something based on their gender.

Sex, surely? Periods seem all about biological sex rather than gender identity to me.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross already commented on in the thread. Gender references a range of characteristics one of which is sex.

But in your query re gender ID, if one of the females identified as female rather than being female at birth, it would still be discrimination just likely a different type.

Any female doesn't have to actually experience periods for it to be ok to talk about them.

This would have been the perfect time for a raised eyebrow and a head tilt, maybe even a 'Really, when I have to listen to a discussion about the effect of last night's curry on Fred's digestive system' .

IME sometimes one has to fight fire with fire - but that's just me