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AIBU?

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Original poster

Woman arrested for asking DH to contribute to housework?! WsheBU?!

17 replies

DishingOutDone · 27/06/2019 18:53

Must be more to this surely - ? She was charged with controlling behaviour as she kept on asking him to do the vacuuming?!

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/wife-58-arrested-after-telling-17263541

OP posts:
HappyPunky · 27/06/2019 18:58

He was unemployed and not doing any of his share of the housework and treating her like a slave. He was the controlling one.

Poor woman going through that.

SpotlessMind · 27/06/2019 18:58

It’s the Mirror, I’d say 100% there’s more to it. It’s a shame because the reporting makes the law about coercive control seem flippant and daft when, in fact, it addresses a serious and significant societal issue.

geekone · 27/06/2019 18:59

That can’t be it there seems to be a lot of confrontation on her part about his bodybuilding and lack of sexlife as she didn’t fancy him anymore. I think she probably was very l about that too.

It wasn’t her DH that went to the police it was the job centre after they became worried about him. This kind of nonsense does nothing to help DV against men or women.

geekone · 27/06/2019 19:00

I mean nonsense journalism.

geekone · 27/06/2019 19:01

It said the case was dropped but she still has a two year restraining order!

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 27/06/2019 19:13

I saw this earlier and I think that him calling the police was a power play against her, to really put her in her place. Which it did.

I am in favour of these laws but I did think before now they can be used by the perpetrator. There are different types of “control”. For example, my ex wouldn’t allow me to get a job, removed all my friends and family from my life for a good long while, tracked me on my iPhone everywhere I went and got me into ever increasing debt so I felt reliant on him. Not to mention the rest which was worse. In family court he claimed I am the controlling one because I wouldn’t let him contact one of his friends (female work colleague who he cheated on me with), insisted he get a job after he’d been unemployed for months and nagged him to help take care of our kids. I’m a fucking monster clearly Hmm

WarmestRegards · 27/06/2019 19:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been been removed by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Original poster
DishingOutDone · 27/06/2019 22:04

I'm just Shock at the job centre giving a damn about anyone's mood?!

I've had a google and there doesn't seem to be more, its all in the tabloids - I suppose really I was more concerned with the precedent of the new coercion laws being used against a woman in this way.

Mind you I did find on an overseas magazine a report that she'd now met a "toyboy" aged 33 and they'd set up a cleaning company together (yes, really!!)

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 27/06/2019 22:13

I was astounded at this story - she was in a cell for 17 hours ffs. I hope to god there was more to the reality to justify this - when I read it I just thought police had handled it abysmally.

Greensleeves · 27/06/2019 22:15

2019 and we're bringing back the scold's bridle.

SnagAndChips · 28/06/2019 08:51

could it possibly have been the steroids which changed his moods?
I would have divorced him too.

Gramgram · 28/06/2019 09:19

Off to hand myself into the Police station, when DH retired he followed me around the house watching me get on with the housework and generally getting in the way. So I asked him to take over cleaning the bathroom and left him to do that. He does an excellent job every week. Got him doing some polishing and dusting too. There are no fairies that do the housework and by sharing it we get more time for other things.

Buster72 · 28/06/2019 09:39

Police didn't charge her, CPS did. The time spent in custody is more than likely down to having no officers available to interview her.

He was employed, at the gym, as a manager.

The case was dropped after a key witness declined to participate so we will never know the details beyond her claim that she just left a few notes asking him to do the hoovering.

MyOpinionIsValid · 28/06/2019 09:57

He was unemployed and not doing any of his share of the housework and treating her like a slave. He was the controlling one.

No he wasn't! He was unemployed then got a job as gym manager and became obsessive about working out. I picked the story up in the Idependent and it was said one of his collegues reported her after his tales of woe at work.

They were clearly incompatible.

teyem · 28/06/2019 10:04

I'm waiting for my ds (12) to get me arrested for nagging him to tidy his room and, shock - horror, I've left post-it notes too. Only the other day I told hime three times to bring down his plate - I even yelled it up the stairs. Do you think they will give me a book and a cushion in the jail cell, I might just hand myself in if they do?

RedHelenB · 28/06/2019 10:34

Shows it shouldn't be down to the courts. Physical abuse us more black and white.

Eliza9919 · 28/06/2019 10:59

Police were called to their home in April 2018 after Jobcentre staff noticed Michael's mood had changed and he blamed it on his home life.

Nothing to do with the steroids then? Hmm

Poor woman, she's better off without him now. What a wanker.

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