Do you get told you talk too much

[whatisforteamum]

Ever since I can remember I have been told this.I always have something to say and perhaps coming from a large family of was the only way to be heard.Some people love that I am chatty and friendly while I know men especially seem to remark about it that I rarely shut up.
I do hear others chatter endlessly.
Please tell me I am not alone😁

I do. I've had to work hard on it but I still do it when stressed, excited, nervous.

Being able to chat is useful, but being able to talk succinctly and recognise when you've said enough is a core social skill (not to mention professional skill).

Yes! Been told it an awful lot and it makes me feel like shit when I get told it because I've had people say it to me in a nasty way (like do you ever shut up etc..) I'm just a chatty friendly person and I like to make people feel welcome to talk to me and I hate to have awkward silences which is understandable..

I'm pretty chatty, but if I don't talk, people constantly ask me what's wrong and assume there must be something up with me which is hard because I don't like to be the cause of an atmosphere. But people have said I talk too much in the past and it makes me feel small and sad and worthless. I talk when I'm nervous, so trying to rein it in just exacerbates the nervousness which makes it a bit of a vicious cycle.

In fact, nothing knocks my confidence like someone saying I talk too much - it makes me feel like such a wanker, but then I hate the awkward silence of a group where nobody knows what to say and feel compelled to fill the space (not talking companionable silence here, just the hellish situation where the conversation hasn't got started yet and needs a bit of a push).

Yes - by work mates and DH. Now DD talks non-stop and DH laughs at me for complaining
DH is opposite to me and very quiet.
I don’t mind being verbose. I’ve talked my way out of alot of tricky situations because I’m quite quick because I’ve had so much practise😂
It takes all sorts eh!

Actually I just remembered once at work a few girls who work in my section were rude to me about me talking too much so I decided not to speak to them all day and then realised they had nothing to talk about and were super awkward and quiet all day and they apologised and said they felt weird having no-one talking

No, I haven't been told that, but I know someone who does talk virtually constantly. She's a really nice woman, but I avoid interacting with her as she literally speaks constantly, over the top of other people, never listening to answers (even though she asks questions) and it's impossible to have a conversation.

I've never met anyone like her before. I really don't think she means to be rude, as odd as that seems - I get the impression that she's just bubbling with all the things she needs to say.

I don't know her terribly well - she's a mum I see at a toddler activity and walk home with occasionally. Even my young kids have commented on it and they usually tune parent chat right out!

Thing is, there's a huge difference and being chatty whereby it's a two way thing and both parties manage to speak .

A PP mentioned listening to the stories of a lady with dementia. It's when chatterboxes don't listen to anyone else but expected to be listened to that it is a real problem. And exhausting too.

Never been told this. If you have, it's because you talk WAY too much. It is extremely annoying and wearing for the listener.

Yeah. Then I feel like I could cry and I just go quiet.

I agree with all of these.I am enthusiastic about my job and talk about it alot.I chat about my dcs too as one of my colleagues knows them.I just admit I ask questions and almost talk over not meaning to be rude but I am quite an excitable person.Normally I laugh it off but sometimes I worry that people think on God here she is😢

Yes I have. I've been mocked by my parents, teachers and even my dh's best man in his wedding speech. Contrary to their belief, I can't help it. Now I'm in my middle age I've discovered that I have ASD and likely ADHD as well which explains it, yet I was ridiculed, shouted at, punished and excluded by people all my life. I once had an appraisal target, and I quote to "shut the f*ck up" my manager laughed in a chummy way and went on to say "now how do we phrase that politely?" Funny how as soon as anyone wants a spokesperson or public speaker then they all run to me with their begging bowls out.

@whatisforteamum you are you. Wonderfully talkative, interesting, friendly you.

Aww thank you zeeboo😊 What is ASD? IS it autism.So sorry you have been spoken to like that.One boss told me if I didn't work as fast as I talked I would be been out😁😁 .I think the newbies always love that I'm chatty and make them welcome.I say good morning to passers by.Trying to curb my chatter without essentially losing myself.

I do always make sure to listen to people, I don't interrupt and I don't talk complete shit, I just like to fill the gaps. I hate awkward silence. Thing is, if someone is rude about it and I stop being chatty then suddenly I've got attitude or I'm being rude because I'm not chatty. I can't win.

Yes OP, I am a very chatty person. I'm also a good listener though and I never, ever talk over people.

My career involves talking for hours at a time though, so my chatty never shuts up personality has helped to make me very good at my job.

Yes all the time

I suspect I have ADHD too. I get extremely enthusiastic and passionate about things and love a debate. No doubt I am extremely annoying but like zeeboo people always want me to talk to the nutters, present things, do something that they find embarrassing, sing on karaoke etc

Yep. And I'm too open. Two of my many faults. I'm very self-centred. But I always try and remember to ask the other person how they are and try and remember to bring the conversation back round to them.

Glad I am not alone😁😁

No I don’t.

Oh yes i can rabbit on for England 🤣.I absolutely drive DH mad say for example on holiday we will sit next to people and within five minutes i am having a conversation. Having worked in a people orientated job all my life i think it comes from that .

I have been from time to time! Oddly enough I was the quiet one who wouldn't say a word as a child due to never being confident enough. I've got more confident and consequently WAYYYY more chatty. Overall it's a good thing but I do have to remind myself to ask other people about themselves

I used to get told that when I was a child, but not now.
I’m friendly, I make conversation with checkout staff etc because I think it must be a bit dull and dehumanising at times, but I’m not chatty or talkative generally.

I don’t like small talk, or “pass timing “ but I like connecting with people.

There’s nothing wrong with talking a Lot op, providing you can read if other people are interested, and that you give others space to talk.

Yes! Like a PP I have ASD and my incessant talking is often a desperate attempt to seem socially able to others and fit in.

I’m sure it probably does annoy some people but it’s meant with good intentions!

I love talking! I know loads of people and I can chat to a wooden door.
I have met some amazing and interesting people because I can initiate conversations with strangers.

I do hear myself rabbitting on sometimes; as pp said if there's a nervous and awkward silence I will fill it! But it's isn't a problem in the main and I am glad I have the skill to engage with people from diverse backgrounds as it's so useful in my work and my voluntary roles.

I am also finding I am less afraid to express my opinion as I get older 😊

I drive a political acquaintance insane because he thinks I am a flibbertygibbett and I think he's a boring old bastard!

My whole life I've been told this 🙊 I don't meant to and sometimes don't notice it...
I'm groups I really focus to not talk too much so people don't get annoyed with me...I think it's because I spend large amounts of time alone, so when I see people I just love to chat 😳