DS is 11, year 6.
From year 3 he had trouble with a group of boys. Social exclusion, snide remarks, general nastiness. The school has a welfare officer and he deals with these issues. I reported what was happening regularly, I also spoke to whatever class teacher he had at the time. Luckily I kept a log of much of happened and when I spoke to staff.
At the beginning of Year 6 it went up a notch and became really hard. I did approach one of the parents but they aggressively defended their child so I left it.
They allowed DS to stay in at lunch and break to avoid the bullies (although this didn't work as they then allowed the bullies to stay in too). That was it, that was all that was done.
Throughout this I spoke to the welfare officer and he told me he was speaking to all members of staff so they were aware and could look out for my son.
My son developed massive anxiety, and an eating disorder and self harming and eventually had a breakdown. I kept him off school at this point. I asked the school for help with counselling and begged for help and they said there was nothing they could do. They seemed more concerned about the time off school than my son.
I met with the class teacher in December and she knew nothing about the bullying. At this point I was speaking to the welfare officer daily but he had not passed on a single message and his teacher had no idea why my son stayed in at lunch and break, hence she allowed the others to.
I asked again for support via the welfare officer and was basically told they could protect DS in the classroom but not really at lunch/break/changing rooms when this was happening. At this point DS has self harming, had gone down to three and a half stone, was depressed and anxious, very unwell.
I accessed counselling for DS privately and pulled him out of school and he began elsewhere. At the time I was fully concentrated on getting DS well again, it was such a dark and difficult time that he was all that mattered. He has flourished in his new school and is doing very well.
Now he is well I look back and I am angry. The welfare officer did not pass on messages, brushed me off and did nothing. The school refused to help me help DS. The meetings I had with the welfare officer, he would say all the right things but do nothing. In the end he appeared bored and irritated by me. I had to remove him to get him well because of their inaction. I want to complain but wonder if I am rehashing old stuff not DS has been left a while.
Should I just leave it and move on?
I am concerned that other children will not be helped or protected.
I really don't want to face the staff at the school again as I don't feel strong enough to revisit that dark time (I was so scared for DS) but at the same time I hate the injustice. Can I complain without facing them? Can I go straight to Ofsted/governors? The school complaint policy says I have to complain to school first, then governors then Ofsted. But am I going myself a massive headache and chore when I should just move forward?
I am just so angry that my son was disregarded this way!