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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell DS7 truth about food poverty?

4 replies

whatnow40 · 27/06/2019 16:26

DS is 7 and moving up to Y3 in Sept. Juniors are in a different building with different lunch arrangements, ordering system etc. Teachers have been talking to them about it today. They told the class how every child in the Infants gets free school meals but in Juniors most will have to pay or bring in a packed lunch.

DS told me he thought it was unfair, everyone should get free meals until they leave school. I explained why FSM exist, that some will still get them and why all children in infants get them. I take him to the food bank to drop donations off every month, so I brought that in to the conversation and reminded him that not everyone has enough money to buy food.

He asked me if I had ever been that hungry before and not had food. I answered him honestly, and said yes. Then he asked a lot of why questions and I tried to be as sensitive as I could, while also answering honestly and age appropriately.

I was homeless at 16. I stole food as a child. I was neglected and malnourished to the point of fainting regularly at school. No one helped me, no one knew.

Was IBU to gently explain there are lots of reasons why some kids don't have enough food? and some of those reasons might be because their parents haven't used what money they do have, to buy food with.

I didn't feel able to lie, or whitewash a major part of my personal history, but also now worried I've over shared with my child.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/06/2019 16:31

Yanbu. I don’t think sugar coating the real world does much to help children as long as he knows it’s a subject to deal with delicately especially with his peers.

JoJoSM2 · 27/06/2019 16:33

I feel that at 7 they're a bit too young for such conversations. I'd wait till a few years later.

silvercuckoo · 27/06/2019 16:36

I am impressed that a 7 year old knows the difference between free meals, paid-for meals and packed lunches and can understand issues of social justice and inequality.
Teachers explaining to 7 year olds that they have to pay or bring their own lunch is also a bit odd - isn't this the topic better discussed with parents?

AlaskanOilBaron · 27/06/2019 16:39

I probably would have waited but I’m sure your judgment was sound. Sounds tough. Flowers

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