AIBU to have very little to do with brother

[Footyfoot]

The background is that he does well for himself ( business ) ... lives abroad .

Not exactly self made , grew up UK, not doing well at school , tearaway at 17 so got sent abroad to stay with wealthy relatives aged 19 , to learn to fend for himself etc.

The rest of us siblings ( all sisters ) did well at school with professional careers .

Brother gets bankrolled by wealthy relatives and parents support to set up own business and does well out of it eventually .( abroad )

Fast forward years and now we are all in 30s, and I have a young child aged 10 months wearing a gorgeous designer outfit and my brother is visiting UK.

Everyone commenting on the lovely outfit ( a gift ).

His comment is ‘ the point isn’t to LOOK like you are rich , the point is to BE rich ‘

Massive argument erupts , a lot of other things said .

Never received an apology .
Sick of the attitude .. I wouldn’t say I’m rich though some may say we do well for ourselves ....I’m never likely to receive financial support from my family for starting a business as I am not a boy ( I know ... my culture is warped ).

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and having little to do with this sibling ?

This is the general attitude we have to deal with from him ... he thinks he’s better than everyone and I suppose I’m fed up of it .

""Darling, she's richer than you'll ever be - people like her ""

But you see, your bro was sent away, that the problem, your parents didnt deal with him, they passed the problem to someone else to rectify. So whilst he's a shit, he's a shit who didnt actually have parental emotional support, where as you and your other siblings are secure in their love. So he's only got one way to justify his existance, and thats by accumulating wealth so he can show you all, that he doesnt need you, he is self sufficient now. He's the one hurting.

I can see what you are saying but my parents were not much kinder with me . But didn’t want to make the post about me . Certainly didn’t get much love . In fact focussing on school was an escape . When I finally did achieve a professional qualification my dad tried to force me to start a joint bank account and pay my wages into that .

I said no . Our relationship has never been the same .

@MyOpinionIsValid nice!! Yup, what she said!

( I.e a joint bank account with my dad )

But also, just don't then! I dont bother with my brother cos hes lied about things to his wife and in laws which have basically meant my parents have had to sign over a house to him. Hes a self entitled prick. I have nothing to do with him anymore.

YANBU. There is absolutely no reason to force yourself into a close relationship with a sibling you dislike.

To be honest you sound very put out that he's done well for himself (eventually), even if he had to be "bankrolled by wealthy relatives and parents". You and your siblings all managed without that!.... Maybe he thinks you've a chip on your shoulder and he doesn't like seeing babies dressed in 'designer clobber' (it can look a bit twee).

Now you put it likethat OP, your whole family seems pretty damaged.

No I don’t feel put out lol , I’m tired of my brothers general attitude .Yea I don’t generally like the flashy stuff with the big branding etc but these clothes were lovely with minimal branding .

When he was sent away, did any of the siblings keep in touch, or was it a case of out of sight out of mind?

Of course we kept in touch , we used to be close .

Anyone v

Snide comments aside - if you actually talked to him would you like him as a human being? If not then, you aren’t loosing anything but I would try to salvage your relationship.

Yes you may have had an equally rubbish time as home, but he was sent away. He won’t have seen your rubbish time and you explaining it will never change the years he spent being jealous (assuming). Plus playing happy families with your baby will probably just remind him of his exclusion .... hence the bitter comment (again assuming).

I like him less and less BECAUSE of all of these snide comments , of which there is more .

You sound like you’re too fed up to want to change the dynamic you have with him tbh

It would take some real effort to change the relationship from both of you, and one would need to do the olive branch first.

Just to clarify OP. Did he stay in the UK or move abroad?

(abroad)

Abroad

He moved abroad

Anyone!?

If you want to cut contact then do. If you would like to keep a distant but civil relationship, then do. He lives abroad so it's not like you'll see him that often.

I have a brother who is a twat too (also mr fancy businessman and him and the wife don’t half indulge themselves).

Unfortunately he lives only a few miles away so I can’t take that little to do with him, but YANBU.

You sound like you need to learn to roll your eyes and ignore 🙄

Bloody hell, up to the tear away part, I thought you were me! I'm fortunate in that mine rarely contacts me. He's abroad, golden child in mother's eyes, I keep my head down and maintain sporadic contact when necessary. Can you do the same?

I'm already dreading the visit at Christmas. I kept it minimal last time but even a short visit of a few hours drove me nuts. My dh nearly walked out, he was so horrified at him.

I have very little to do with my sister. I just don't much like her as a person and she bullied me relentlessly my entire childhood and in to my late teens, and even now as an adult is a total arse half the time.

My Mother is distraught over it (she is over everything and very dramatic anyway) but I'm not going to go out of my way to try and be friends with someone I really can take or leave just because we came out of the same vagina.

I'd just shrug and move on OP. He's not worth the energy. You only have one life, live it for you. The idyllic 'family' as is portrayed these days is few and far between and a relatively new concept in the grand scheme of things.

Low contact.
He sounds bitter and jealous of you.