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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - but are 12 year olds really allowed to watch love island

28 replies

iwantavuvezela · 27/06/2019 11:57

My DD - year 7 tells me that "everyone" in her class is allowed to watch love island. Obviously i take this with a pinch of salt, however there are still a large number of kids in her class that are allowed to watch it - for so many reasons i find it unsuitable for this age group - i have explained to her why she cannot watch it - i just find the themes around casual love / bodies / gender stereotypes / general chit chat too adult for this age group that are yet to even enter into this realm. For full disclosure i watch it, but then for me its mental fluff.

Do you allow your child (or not) to watch it ? DO you moderate them if they watch it to contexualise things for them?

OP posts:

VivienneHolt · 27/06/2019 12:00

Yanbu, it is absolutely not age appropriate!

dancemom · 27/06/2019 12:01

I let my 13 year old watch it for the first time this year. Well I say watch it, she usually falls asleep by 9.30!

I actually found it generated some relevant conversations about controlling behaviour, gaslighting, love bombing, racism, stereotypes, body image etc.

Yeah there are a few conversations that may not be entirely age relevant but id rather watch it with her and have discussions than she hears edited versions from her friends and clips from social media.

SimonJT · 27/06/2019 12:04

I refuse to watch it, if my son was older I also wouldn’t be allowing him to watch it. Not only does it present a false view of a male and female body, but I also have concerns over the mental wellbeing of contestants.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 27/06/2019 12:14

Mine says the same thing, she still isn't allowed to watch it

userabcname · 27/06/2019 12:23

As a secondary school teacher I can honestly say that while Year 7 are aware of Love Island, very few actually watch it. They do complain about not being allowed so I'd take the "everyone watches it" with a hefty pinch of salt. Year 9 seem to be the group the most into it!

dancemom · 27/06/2019 12:33

dd turns 14 in a few months. Not in England but in your Year 9 equivalent so that sounds about right.

Spinnaret · 27/06/2019 12:33

Not in my household! DS tried it last year saying that 'everyone' was watching it. I asked a few mums and they all said no, their kids weren't. He hasn't even bothered asking this year.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/06/2019 12:36

My dd wasn’t allowed when she was 12

But apparently ALL her friends did

(apart from those friends i happened to have the family telephone for and could feasibly check with their mothers...by an amazing coincidence those friends were not included in the ALL...in fact some of them weren’t even her friends, any more)

tisonlymeagain · 27/06/2019 12:43

I let my 13 year old watch it, I watch it too. There's nothing in it that she doesn't already know. It's sparked some interesting conversations and I've told her to use it as a lesson in how not to behave!

Snowy81 · 27/06/2019 12:43

Ds year 9, asked to watch it a few weeks ago along with his friends- yes they were all on WhatsApps etc at the same time watching it. They all got bored half way through and abandoned it, ds’s comment was ‘what a load of crap, why do people watch it?’. He hasn’t watched it since, neither has any of his friends.

Original poster

iwantavuvezela · 27/06/2019 12:48

I am pleased to see that the overall feedback is that my Dd might be exaggerating the extent of those watching it, or those saying they are allowed to see it ! She says that her class is constantly discussing who chose who and she has no idea of what they are saying.

Perhaps it is just the age group wanting to push the boundaries of watching 15+ movies (me saying no, unless i have looked at commonsense media to see what the themes are) asking for snapchat, said no as well ....

i guess there is a small minority that do do some of these things and it gets exaggerated ....

OP posts:

TwoleftUggs · 27/06/2019 12:48

ds is in year 6 and according to my Instagram, half the girls in his class watch it. Or at least post about it every bloody night.

Original poster

iwantavuvezela · 27/06/2019 12:55

twoleftuggs just feels so inappropriate for Year 6 - and of course so late as well!

OP posts:

tisonlymeagain · 27/06/2019 14:44

It's late for my Year 8, it's normally lights off by 9.30

whogoncheckmeBoo · 27/06/2019 14:49

I let my 13 yr old watch and they also watched last year. Like PP’s I have actually found it has opened up some discussions about relationships that we wouldn’t normally have and it has been more a positive experience than negative.

Cwtches123 · 27/06/2019 14:50

I watch it with my year 9 dd and we watched it together last year too. We have had many good discussions on the back of it and use it as a lesson in how not to behave!
Some of the issues that have come up have been a bit tricky to discuss but I have tried to be as honest with her as possible.
I wouldn't leave her to watch it alone though.

floribunda18 · 27/06/2019 15:17

DD1 wasn't into it when she was 12. This year (Y9) she has watched some of it, mainly (I think) so she can talk about it with her friends.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 27/06/2019 15:19

My 13 year old has watched a few episodes here and there. As PP's have mentioned the conversations between us that it's sparked have been interesting and ones I wouldn't perhaps have thought to have with him had we not watched LI.

He's aware it's all bullshit, and that it's not representative of real life. He also doesn't seem overly invested in any of it.

Original poster

iwantavuvezela · 27/06/2019 18:45

*cwtches123 * does your 9 year old really follow it - I can see perhaps for older teens the issues etc it might raise to talk about, but for a 9 year old it feels like there is no context yet for a discussion.

OP posts:

SpotlessMind · 27/06/2019 18:54

My 10 year old tells me some of the kids in his class (year 5) watch it. I’ve never watched it myself so don’t know how appropriate or not it would be, my DS is not interested either so I’ve never looked into it

NavyBlueHue · 27/06/2019 18:57

DD is almost 13 and she won’t be watching it ever if I have my way.

I don’t want her thinking this behaviour is normal. I don’t want her thinking adult relationships are like that. I don’t want her feeling she should be judged on how she looks or how well she manipulates others. I don’t want her thinking that offering yourself on a plate is the way to a mans heart. I don’t want her seeing any part of it as normal or as something to aspire to.

It’s wrong in so many levels and it’s another example of what’s so sadly wrong in this world.

PositiveVibez · 27/06/2019 19:05

does your 9 year old really follow it

Year 9 not 9yo

Gallovich · 27/06/2019 19:08

My 13 year old (year 8) son asked to watch it this year, so we have been watching it together. So far he has commented on how creepy and controlling Joe was, and how shocked he was at Tommy not being able to cook. We have also had loads of conversations about how this is not real or at all realistic of real life and actual relationships, and he knows that this is not how you should treat people when in a relationship. I actually think it's better that young teens watch it with their parents so it can be discussed and explained, rather than them watching it by themselves without you even realising, which lots of them do.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 27/06/2019 19:09

Op, cwtches said her Year 9 not 9 year old.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 27/06/2019 19:12

As a SPHE teacher (think it's PSHE in England?) I can honestly say that Love Island flies in the face of every single value we are trying so desperately to install in our students: not judging by appearances only, body image confidence, self-respect and respect for others, valuing ourselves, not jumping into casual sex... Etc etc, the list goes on and on.

Even for older teenagers I think this is horrendous. And even two of the contestants have committed suicide. Is this the best we can show our (already vulnerable) young people?

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