Aibu - friend thinks I’m homophobic?

[AngrySquid]

I’m going to prefix this by saying I’m bisexual and have had three long term relationships with women (two of which this friend has met) , though I am currently dating a man.

This particular friend and I, among a few other friends, got onto the topic of what we’d ‘do’ if our children were gay. Everyone in general was supportive, some overly so (“I’d be so happy, gay sons are lovely to their mothers!” Kind but I’m not sure all that realistic). However I made the mistake of being honest and saying “I would probably be upset because they’d face certain discriminations while in a same sex relationship, as I have. But I’d support them 100% regardless.”
Aibu to think this isn’t a homophobic opinion?
I’m not sure if it’s relevant but none of these friends (including the one who’s calling me homophobic) have ever been in a same sex relationship.
I’d feel a bit sad for my child to be facing discrimination and homophobia... that’s all I meant. But apparently anything more than overwhelming happiness at having a gay/lesbian child is discriminatory

It's a bit rich for her to call you homophobic, lol.

I know exactly what you mean. My daughter is gay, and the one reason I was at all sad or upset was concern about possible victimisation and discrimination as a result of her sexuality. And from you, it is a very informed opinion that personally I appreciate you sharing.

Of course it's not a homophobic opinion. You're acknowledging the reality that homophobia still exists and your children would likely get at least some shit for it. Unless you're making a nasty judgement against them yourself then no, it's not homophobia. I'm sorry your associated with a stupid person.

*you're oh Christ the irony

No you were not being unreasonable op.🌼

I'm inclined to agree with your way of thinking on this. I think the friends who caller you homophobic are unthinking and blindly trying to sound woke and possibly watched the god awful film The Family Stone

It seems pretty clear to me that you were separating out how you would feel about your child being gay from how you would feel about the discrimination your child would face for being gay so no, I don’t think you were being homophobic and I think your friend was speaking from a position of straight privilege where they don’t understand how it actually feels to be discriminated against for your sexuality.

Me thinks they doth protest too loudly. She projecting your own homophobia to you because you dared to take a more pragmatic view, which they don’t have the courage to express.

*ugh HER own sorry

Love the idea that a realistic outlook on the difficulties LGBT people still face is homophobic, but saying 'GAY SONS ARE SO LOVELY TO THEIR MUMS' as if gay men are an entirely homogenous group of stereotypes is not...

Absolutely agree with you, but it's seemingly not OK to be pragmatic in this woke, virtue-signalling world.

No, yanbu. I actually find their OTT hypothetical reactions to be quite distasteful. Gay people come in all shapes, and sizes and temperaments. To say that all gay men love their mothers is utterly stupid.

I wish we lived in a world where being gay didn't come with difficulties, and wasn't treated as anything other than normal. But we don't. And your reaction is a realistic one.