How to deal with nasty work colleague

[Unusualusernames]

Posting here for traffic and feeling very sensitive so please please don't flame me.

I've started a new job and to cut a long story short the person I'm taking over from is leaving under a massive cloud for reasons that have nothing to do with me.

She's meant to be showing me how to do the role but I feel that she is deliberately not showing me what to do, explaining things in a haphazard fashion and whenever I ask her a question, tutting, eye rolling or getting angry. Her behaviour is really outrageous but I don't want to say too much for fear of outing myself.

She's tried to belittle me in front of people I'm going to be line managing. (Ironically one of them has taken me aside and said things will improve when she leaves after she witnessed her being really rude and bitchy). She's also slagged off almost everyone in the office to me. I don't doubt she's slagged me off to them.

Does anyone have any kind advice to offer? She will be gone in a couple of weeks but I'm worried that I will not know enough about my day to say tasks to do the job properly (which I imagine is her intention).

Again please please don't be horrible to me. I've already cried several times this week and it's causing me problems sleeping.

Either kill with kindness or grey rock technique.

Do you have objectives for what you need to learn in this first month? Keep track and discuss them with your manager

Why would people be horrible to you, OP? You’ve done nothing wrong.

Have you spoken to your line manager and/or HR? That’s the place to start.

And if you’re going to be line managing people I think you need to toughen up a bit - take an assertiveness course!

Sorry to hear she’s being nasty, thankfully she’ll be gone in 2 weeks

Also if management have witnessed her behaviour they will be aware that she isn't giving you the information you need to do the job and they should have training available and/ or a process you can follow once she is gone.

If she is supposed to be training you, I’d be compiling notes on what she’s trained me on - then email it to her to confirm that this is the total sum of the task ... or ask for clarity. She should also provide links to SOPs and rules/regs - ask for written handover notes to ensure nothing’s missing. When you later are informed that it’s incorrect etc you have evidence that you weren’t trained properly or given accurate information. Just helps cover your back incase you do miss an important task due to not being aware (use your terms of reference to ensure you ask about all the tasks mentioned).

I personally just smiled my way through the nastiness, laughed when they were rude to me / about me as if I didn’t care - I really didn’t (she was awful). And make proper connections once she leaves.

I’m sorry she’s ruining shiny new excitement though !

It was really unprofessional of your managers to put you in this position.

Put your energy into your relationship with the people who will be staying. Get to know you direct reports.

Ask for a meeting with your supervisor and review the objectives for this transition period. Review what you've learned so far and what else you need training in.

This sounds like a very stressful, difficult situation to be in. Who is your line manager OP? You need to involve them now so that you get the professional & relevant handover needed to take on your role. It's useful in a way that everyone seems aware of the negative influence of the person you're taking over from in that everyone will be relieved when she has left the job, however, you're obviously not getting the handover intended or required. Also, it sounds like you're being bullied, you need managerial support now. It will get easier.

It's incredibly unprofessional of the company to leave your training to the person you're replacing 'under a cloud'.

Of course they're not going to be helpful.

Can you set up a meeting, with your manager in the first instance, and then with HR if that doesn't change things?

Explain what's happening, and ask what their plans are to ensure your training and support continue once PITA leaves.

It feels hideous now - it is horrible going into work in an unhappy environment - but it will end, and am sure noticeably improve once you get through these couple of weeks.

Mark the days off every evening when you get home to count them down, and do something nice for yourself when you get home.

You need to speak with your managers. If she’s leaving anyway, they may pull her up and give her immediate gardening leave.

Agree with MrsGrannyWeatherwax. When you email her to confirm you have everything blind copy in HR and/or your manager. Bitchy McBitchface doesn’t need to know you’ve done this after all.

Remember she is leaving under a cloud so isn’t going to feel inclined to want to help immature as it is.

Have a calendar on your desk and ostentatiously cross off each day as it finishes saying x more days to go. Have balloons drawn all round her last day and party time written by it. OK maybe not this but nothing wrong with cheap diary in your bag and doing it.

Good luck, 2 weeks time she will be gone and you will reign supreme.

What kind of shit job is this, that someone leaving “under a massive cloud”is training you? Is this a job you actually want? It really sounds crap. There are other jobs out there

Who is above you?
Show some management skill and ask If the person can be put on gardening leave and you will ask any questions to other managers

Either kill with kindness or grey rock technique.

This.

Look she obviously a twit and everyone knows it.

I’d be extra nice (but not overly personal) with the people you line manage.

I’d also speak to your line manager, explain the situation and suggest a written handover as well as verbal might be useful. It won’t be any kind of surprise.

You don’t need to be perfect a month in so relax - everyone will probably just be happy to not have to work with her anymore!!!!

I agree with others. Ask for her to be put in garden leave and ask for someone else to train you.

If there isn’t anyone else that knows everything there must be a few people who know something and then one of your first jobs as manager will be to work with the team to document procedures.

Lots of people start jobs when the predecessor has already left and manage ok. Might be advisable if she goes sooner rather than later.

Apols for ignorance - 'grey rock'?

I would hate being in this situation Unusualusernames. At least it will soon be over.

It is really strange that your manager assumed that the person leaving under a cloud would train you properly to do her job before she left. After all, if she could behave professionally and constructively then why would they need to end her contract?

It is possible that they guessed this might happen and are not expecting you to be 100% up to speed when she leaves. I agree that you should keep a detailed account of what she has done with you and maybe ask your manager for an informal meeting to discuss how you are settling in.

The fact that another person took you aside sympathetically suggests things will improve once she has gone.