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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to balance things out a little? Lovely PIL

29 replies

Merryoldgoat · 26/06/2019 20:55

My MIL picked up DS from school and took him back to hers because I’m unwell as is my toddler.

MIL just sent me a message:

‘[DS1] was absolutely lovely today - he’s a credit to you both’

My son has ASD, can be challenging with some situations but generally he’s quite easy.

I’m feeling really low today as I’m in a lot of pain but getting that message has made me so happy and proud of my son.

My PIL are utterly wonderful people and I’m so lucky to have them. Just nice to sometimes acknowledge the good.

Back in my cave now!

OP posts:
VivienneHolt · 26/06/2019 20:58

Mine are fab too. Just lovely, warm, generous, welcoming, friendly people.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/06/2019 21:00

I’m glad you have lovely PIL too - it’s been so lovely being part of their family and they adore my boys.

OP posts:
SkydivingKittyCat · 26/06/2019 21:00

My mother in law, father in law and his wife (PiL split about 30 years ago, it's not some kind of weird polygamous relationship going on!) are all great.

Unfortunately my husband didn't do so well in the parent in law department...

MissConductUS · 26/06/2019 21:01

My MIL is a gem (FIL passed away before I met DH). She's always kind and respectful to me and has been very generous in helping financially with uni costs for the kids.

Reading about the MIL's from hell here on MN has made me much more appreciative of her.

SewButtons · 26/06/2019 21:04

I adore DPs parents, they are so lovely and make me feel totally welcome in their family even though we have a language barrier.
They also never let me lift a finger to help out when we visit them, and they raised a lovely son as well. (Two actually because I get on very well with DPs brother as well)

ElphabaTheGreen · 26/06/2019 21:05

I love my PILs. They are the kindest, loveliest people you could ever meet and are the most wonderful, loving grandparents. My DM passed away suddenly about two and a half years ago and I’ve been NC with my father for years so they’re the closest I have to real parents. I’m so lucky to have them, as are my DSs. It’s also why my DH is such a lovely person.

Nice thread OP. The ILs from hell threads on here make me appreciate mine, but this is a nice way of saying it directly Smile (Must do it more IRL...)

cheeseandcrackers · 26/06/2019 21:05

I couldn't have more wonderful supportive PILs who are fabulous with DC. Eldest also has ASD but they just take it in their stride and really get him. Means so much to me.

Hope you feel better soon

AuditAngel · 26/06/2019 21:06

My MIL has her moments.

A few weeks ago both our schools were closed due to a water leak. I could have worked from home, but DH hadn’t left for work when primary school requested pick up, so he dropped DC3 to his mum’s while h3 worked. She sent me a photo from that day yesterday.

She also thanked me for letting DD2 go there to be looked after,

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/06/2019 21:09

Lovely stories Flowers

@SkydivingKittyCat my DH didn’t do so well on the in laws front either!!

OP posts:
HotSauceCommittee · 26/06/2019 21:10

Another one here; they’ve been my PILs for 26 years and they are (bonkers-like my parents) family. I love them.

SignedUpJust4This · 26/06/2019 21:11

I love my PIL. I used to find my husband's family a bit odd but once we had kids I realised my own parents were extremely selfish and his parents bend over backwards to help. They are so kind. I am very very lucky.

EnglishRose13 · 26/06/2019 21:13

My FiL is amazing. He's like Flop from Bing. He's genuinely one of my favourite people.

I can't stand my MiL, though...

codemonkey · 26/06/2019 21:14

I'm even closer to my mil now that my husband has died than ever before. She's literally family.

But OP, you're being incredibly unreasonable to buck the trend. In mumsnetland in-laws are evil, desperately trying to visit your children and, I dunno, buy them nice things or something.

Namelessinseattle · 26/06/2019 21:15

My PIL are amazing, so helpful and adore the kids. I love spending time with them.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/06/2019 21:17

But OP, you're being incredibly unreasonable to buck the trend. In mumsnetland in-laws are evil, desperately trying to visit your children and, I dunno, buy them nice things or something.

I know - mine had the temerity to take my DS away TWICE last summer. They didn’t want money, treated him really well and he had an amazing time. Outrageous Grin

OP posts:
poptypingchef · 26/06/2019 21:20

Growing up I never understood MIL jokes as my mum and my Grandma (MIL) were the best of pals - really close.

Now I’m all grown up (I use that term loosely 😂) I’m equally lucky to have such a lovely MIL.

sweetkitty · 26/06/2019 21:24

My MIL died 10 years ago miss her terribly.
FIL died when DH was 14.

I’m NC with my mother and my father is next to useless, doesn’t take an interest we see him about twice a year.

Holymolymackerel · 26/06/2019 21:25

Both my and dh's pils are rubbish.

My pils are not interested, say the wrong thing, favours other son and grandchildren. Utterly useless.
My dm is nosey, critical, narcissistic.

We dream of adopting some grandparents because our kids are wonderful and deserve to have doting grandparents.

justgivemewine · 26/06/2019 21:30

My PIL are lovely too. When im a MIL I want to be like mine.

My oldest has asd too and both my parents and PIL have been so supportive. It makes such a difference to all of us. I really feel for those families who have rubbish grandparents.

Goodenough06 · 26/06/2019 21:30

I definitely lucked out with my MIL too. She's just really respectful of our space whilst at the same time always being really helpful and keen to babysit. She's quite a reserved person and we took a while to open up to each other but I am so grateful for her.
When I had first had my son and was really struggling with tiredness and insecurity about what the hell I was doing, she said 'you've taken to motherhood so easily, you're a natural.'
Only a really small thing but it meant so much.

Dragonbait · 26/06/2019 21:42

Mine are lovely too. My appreciation for them increased massively when I was recently hospitalised following an accident. My parents live a few hours away and didn't bother visiting. My PIL were there every day without fail and were a huge support at a really difficult time. They also would do anything for our kids and will happily have them whenever they can.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/06/2019 22:04

So nice to hear the love we have.

Sorry for all of you with difficult PILs - it’s such a shame and a waste.

OP posts:
Accountant222 · 26/06/2019 22:11

Mine are long gone, but they were absolute stars

magimedi · 26/06/2019 22:31

Sadly mine too are long gone but they were amazing.

I think of them every day & miss them loads, even though my DC are now nearly the same age as I was when they (PILS) died.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/06/2019 22:38

DH has great PILs. Mine are ok.

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