DH and I have been married 15 years. Generally really happy. Prior to children I had a very interesting and pretty well paid job (not mega money but comfortable). DH has always been decently paid, but never really enjoyed what he does. When we initially had children I thought I would be able to use my (v good and from a prestigious uni) degree to become a barrister allowing him to pursue other things, but it quickly transpired it was too much with babies at home, so instead I retrained in a new career that could be done much more locally. I never had a desire to do it, but I am someone who really likes to be busy and work with others so wanted to work but be involved in childcare (my previous job involved travel and working away). DH’s salary was beginning to outstrip mine considerably so he stayed in his job and I too then began working in a role close to home and assumed most of the childcare as my job was a bit more flexible. Over the years I have done quite well, but a recent house move means I have taken a new job, that whilst having a decent-ish salary is a bit more ‘frontline’ and low level than I ever imagined myself doing and I often find myself feeling really down about my totally wasted education. A few months back DH was offered a considerable promotion (Director level multi national) with the obvious associated pay rise. He was recommended for the role despite him not being directly experienced in the specifics. I took this a a reflection of his capabilities, but he felt people wouldn’t have confidence in him and so yesterday phoned up and turned it down.
The money is obviously a bit of a disappointment - it probably equates to roughly what I earn in total, but it’s more that he dislikes his current job yet has passed up an opportunity to try a slightly different field. When I expressed this he said I was mercenary and that I am trying to fulfil my career ambitions through him.
AIBU?