Shift work and child contact

[TellMeStraightSir]

If one parent works shifts how do you usually work contact?

Could the other parent still insist on set days or should they work their plans around the others shifts?

The shifts change regularly often with little notice.

I think some give a take is required. Yes set days but you need to be open to chances of changes. At the end of the day it's for the benefit of the child/ren. Is their work family friendly? Can set days of shifts be given?

Flexibility is key with long term contact, but the communication between parents has to be really good to work that around non set shift patterns. IME expect a rough ride at first. As a parent the nrp working shifts just like the rp could be "encouraging" their employer for a regular pattern (even if that is over a month rather than a week).

Flexibility esp if other parent doesnt work. It can be utterly infuriating and annoying but best for DC to have good contact.

Friend demanded her ex do set days when he was a changing shift pattern - so completely unworkable. Dad hardly ended up seeing kids for a year until they kicked off at their mum and said they wanted to see their dad when he was home.

ExH works shifts (12 hour days / days off/ 12 hour nights / days off) so he has DS when he isn’t working & doesn’t have an early the next day. In order to allow him time not working & without DS we have another arrangement.

The issue comes when he has a lot of o/t which he assumes I will cover - he won’t see DS now for 2 weeks (although DS is 15 now)

I work Mon-Fri so can cover, but due to his shifts cannot return the favour!! He also doesn’t provide any more money (not that he gives much anyway —another story— )
even though I am enabling him to work o/t !

Contact is 50/50 however it changes weekly so child doesn't know where they are from one day to the next and neither do I until I'm told (often completely last minute) I.e. could spend Monday, Friday, Sunday with parent one week and then Tuesday, Thursday Saturday, Sunday the next.

Feels like everyone's lives revolves around it.

If one parents job is getting priority and the other is having to fit their life round it then they need to be paying a damn sight more than minimum maintenance.

No maintenance paid as technically works out as 50:50

Well, I'd assume set days and the parent with the shifts has to sort child care. The other parent shouldn't have their life disrupted.

If there is no maintenance then it should be set days with the shift worker paying for whatever child care they need.

One half of a separated couple can't be expected to bend their life around their ex's ever changing schedule.

One half of a separated couple can't be expected to bend their life around their ex's ever changing schedule

This is exactly how it feels. Can't plan or arrange anything because I never know what days DC will be where.

If I suggest set days I get guilt tripped that DC will not see other parent as often.

Wouldn't mind so much if shifts were given in advance but it's not uncommon for me to find out on the day that they can/can't have DC.

We both work shifts
It’s a bloody nightmare
My work sets my shifts so I’m not working same days as him as we have no other childcare (am v lucky)
Good relationship but can be hard, need to communicate well but def would be easier if one of us didn’t work shifts

Me and exdp had 50:50, ours wasn’t shift work, but we both almost weekly were away working. So we worked it on a week by week basis, and also helped each other out, for example if exdp had ds then had an email to say he had a meeting the next day 100 miles away, then I would step in and vice versa.
However there were times we were both away at the same time, so my dp then had Ds wasn’t affected my it at all, it was his norm.