Bedtime/waking up older kids and teenagers. Tips please. Alexa or not!?!

[Megmerry]

Hi
I'm new on here and hoping that you might be able to help me. I have 3 kids aged 9, 11 & 14 they seem to be pushing bedtime later and later and constant battles to down devices then no one wants to get moving in the morning and we are always on the last min for school and work. I'm feeling worn down by chasing them to bed and chasing them up in the morning. Loosing the enjoyment out of being a family :(
A friend has put alexa speakers in her kids rooms and set them to play music when its time to get up, get dressed, clean teeth, eat breakfast and leave the house and she says it really works for them. Does anyone here have any tips/dos or don'ts? Is alexa the best option on smart speakers or something else?
OPen to anything that will make life happier and easier.
thank you all x

I have done similar, but told Alexa to play creepy horror movie music at 6am

Wtf?

You are the parent - there’s no need for a robotic voice to raise your children. Just tell them to get up and if they’re not ready on time then sanction them!

I’m sorry, but really??

You are constantly battling with them to put down devices at bed time and your answer to that is to consider giving them more devices

Shout on them in the morning when it's time to get up.

I agree with @wellerrr

You don’t need speakers you need effective parenting at bedtime. I’m sorry you’re finding it tough, and I sympathise.

But you need to sort this or you’ll have bigger problems. You need to set a clear expectation on behaviour and then enforce consequences.

alarm clock?

Get the devices away. Turn off everything, the WiFi the lot until they learn that devices down is non negotiable.
Get alarm clocks and keep them moving in the morning.

And why not just take their devices away at say 7pm?

We have a 13 year old and an 8 year old and both have an Alexa and a Lumie. The Lumie lights the room very gradually from 6.30am so that 7am comes and the room looks brighter than the sun, and the Alexas have alarms to play different songs at 7am. I think at the moment DS1 wakes up to Queen's Greatest Hits album and DS2 wakes up to Imagine Dragons. It takes all of the stress out of mornings because I don't have to speak to them til they're ready to come and find me (DS1 has Autism and anything that reduces sensory overload first thing has to be a winner here). I appreciate that for many people they don't want Alexa or listening devices in the home but for us it seems to have had a positive impact.

We also have similar routines at bedtimes where their tech has to be off and downstairs an hour before bedtime. I don't ration xbox/phones/ipads because Monday-Friday they're so busy doing sports/walking the dog/bike riding that they regulate themselves, but the cut-off time is non-negotiable and if there's silliness then the following day's tech is gone.

We have our router programmed to boot all of the kids' devices off of the wi-fi about 45 minutes before bedtime. The devices don't come back online until after school the next day or at a reasonable time on the weekend. We don't have anything that uses mobile data; if we did, I would use Kidslox (the app) to do the same thing.

We use Alexa to remind them that the devices are going to be shut down so no one is caught by surprise, having a daily reminder set at the time the router boots them off. We also have Alexa connected with our Hue system so all of our bedroom lights start fading in about 30 minutes before we need to be up, then the Alexa alarm goes off (works just fine as an alarm clock).

So sure, Alexa can help, but it's not necessary to establish the routine.

You are constantly battling with them to put down devices at bed time and your answer to that is to consider giving them more devices

An Alexa is clearly not the same as a phone or tablet. They’re hardly going to stay up late because they’re addicted to asking Alexa questions.

I have to say OP that having an Alexa did wonders for helping me get up in the morning. The radio comes on and I have ten minutes of stirring and listening to the news before I actually have to get up. It is so much more comfortable than an alarm. So on that basis I would say it might help your kids.

That will only work tho if they are getting to bed on time so I would start enforcing an embargo on laptops / phones / tablets from an hour before their bed. Make it a rule that any whining means they lose them ten minutes earlier the next night.

An Alexa is clearly not the same as a phone or tablet.

I never said it was

It is however, as I said, another device.

The idea that giving another device to children who are having trouble respecting the rules and bedtime re surrounding devices is quite frankly batshit.

It's not difficult to shout through to wake your kids in the morning like people have done for years.

It's fine to delegate parenting to Alexa but don't come crying to me when Jeff Bezos steals your children's souls.

I have to say OP that having an Alexa did wonders for helping me get up in the morning. The radio comes on and I have ten minutes of stirring and listening to the news before I actually have to get up. It is so much more comfortable than an alarm. So on that basis I would say it might help your kids

I got a radio alarm clock for my tenth birthday in 1983. Seems more sensible than silicon valley surveillance.

Sorry perhaps I tried to be a little too short in my description of the problem.
We do have a strict evening schedule. They do homework when they get home then a lot of the time have clubs/hobbies of an evening and weekends. We take devices off them at 8pm and they aren't allowed them again until they are all ready to leave the house in the morning. In the morning for some reason alarm clocks seem to of failed them, I've bought numerous ones and they end up going off in the middle of the night, getting broken or lost or not set at all! however the battle is...
I'm worn down by asking asking asking them to do things and waiting for the slow response time. I want to try and train them to do things for themselves without me constantly nagging. I need to free up sometime so that i can get other things done too. So with this in mind I have told them that they are now in charge of putting devices away themselves (they know where they should put them) and if it isn't done by the allotted time then they loose the privilege of them tomorrow.
From hearing from my friend and fudgebrownie I am thinking by giving them sound prompts (not mine) that it is time to do something it will take the stress out for me and empower them to be in charge of themselves.
I don't usually advocate too much tech and dont like them being on it lots but lets face it their world is way more techy than ours was and perhaps we could embrace it to help us too?
That was my thought. I run a tight ship already I was just interested if others used technology instead of their own manpower to assist in maintaining routine?

DH can turn off kids tablets remotely from his phone. If they don't switch off the tablet when asked we can switch it off.

LIFX light bulbs are set to do a sunset to wind down at bedtime and a sunrise in the morning. The light bulbs really help with the mornings.

I'm trying to avoid shouting, frankly I'm fed up of my own voice shouting!
How did you programme your router to boot all kids devices off at a certain time please? what app do you reccommend? I'm interested!

I go with a few days of letting them be late and deal with the consequences. Once mine reach year 6 I let them regulate their bedtime themselves on the provision they get up in the morning.
If they don't then it's bedtime at 7pm that night. It's worth a week of grumpiness as my 3 dc of similar ages to yours all get up and ready themselves. I'll double check they are up and if I have to wake them (very rare) they know if they fall back to sleep it's 7pm bedtime.
Yes they will be late and tired and grumpy but they soon learn.

Google home assistant can be set up to help. If I say "OK google breakfast time" then it is set up to turn everything off (lights / Tv/ tablets), calls out "breakfast time" on other speakers and starts a music playlist in the kitchen with songs they like.

I am thinking by giving them sound prompts (not mine) that it is time to do something it will take the stress out for me and empower them to be in charge of themselves.

So basically training them to respond to a whistle like Captain Von Trapp did to his kids in the sound of music? That does not sound "empowering" in the least.

Nor do I think an Alexa dot is any harder to unplug and ignore than an alarm clock.

Google home assistant can be set up to help. If I say "OK google breakfast time" then it is set up to turn everything off (lights / Tv/ tablets), calls out "breakfast time" on other speakers and starts a music playlist in the kitchen with songs they like.

Stuff like this makes me cold.

I understand that using these technologies isn't for everyone and that is fine, we are all welcome to our own opinion, however everyone on here is using some sort of device to gain something in their life. I have found most of the comments and feedback very helpful and some thought provoking, however once comments start to snipe and not have any constructive worth I'm not sure why you would leave them.
Thank you to everyone who has taken time to give me constructive comments they are very much appreciated.