Panicking

[PinkOwl2]

Not an AIBU sorry, but I just feel I need someone to talk to and I always get the best traffic here.

Yet again I have woken up in the middle of the night with intense panic. The reason is I am about to start a job I am not experienced or qualified for and I have no idea why they gave to me. I was so happy to get out of my last job, which was causing me stress and regular panic attacks, that I accepted without fully thinking this through.

The person who would have managed and trained me has been made redundant, which means no one will be training me on the technical things. I will be the only person doing it. I think they think I already know how to do it all, it's going to be so embarrassing when I don't. The people who hired me seemed clueless about the technical stuff, so probably think I can do Y because I can do X.

I know that sounds vague without saying what the job is. But there are other things too - many people have left the company in the last few weeks, for reasons unknown. I've also lately found they want me to work weekends, not sure if it's every weekend but if so that's a deal breaker. Pver the last few weeks since accepting the HR dept seem useless and the company seems extremely dysfunctional.

I have visions of people expected to do things I have no idea how to do. I have a horrible feeling about it, and feel like just telling them I won't be starting. But then I'll be unemployed and panicking about another thing! I am already on antidepressants (after stress in my last job), but they don't fully stop this anxiety as I know I'm not good enough.

ANy advice or friendly words are welcome

Who says you aren't good enough?
All roles require training.
The middle of the night is a bad time to try and think rationally.
If they hadn't seen something in you they wouldn't have hired you.

Thanks for your reply. The problem is there won't be any training :( they've created the job as no one there does/can do it, and i'll be the only person with this role. I have a strange feeling about the company, they seem very dysfunctional and all the people I met at interview are no longer there.

Those sound like good reasons to be concerned, but no need to panic (easier said than done, I know). Even if they're a sinking ship it's just a job and there will be a way through this.

Firstly, is there any reason you can't be looking for another job starting now? If this is a disaster you can walk away like everyone else seems to be doing!

Next, I would write down the specific things that you are concerned about so you can see them spelled out rather than swirling about your head.

Any that are not inappropriate to share, you can put in an email to the company - "I had previously been liaising with Mr X with regard to both a general induction for the role, and also more specific training in xyz. I understand that he had since left and was unsure as to how this would impact starting the post seeing as training in xyz will be necessary to perform the role. As training is not performed in house, perhaps there is an external training session you will need me to attend? Any clarification you can offer on the matter would be much appreciated." yada yada.

Stop creating problems you aren't even sure will exist. They wouldn't have hired you if they thought you are incapable of learning and managing the job. Go into work, assess the situation, and do your best. That's all any of us can do.

What's the worst that can happen? You need to start there. Everything after that won't seem so bad.

Can you teach yourself as you go? Look for another job while working there as a backup? If they have hired you based on assumptions that you can do something, that's their problem to fix. It would probably be cheaper for them to get you some external training than to start the recruitment process again.