To ask would we be mad to have a third child ASAP?

[lightnights]

I work part time, have a one year old and four year old DC. (4 year old starts school in sept).
DP works full time. We aren't that well off but we have enough to get by with lots of lovely days out and occasional holidays and are generally very happy. We just bought a house and my mum lives with us since my dad passed away last year.
House has 3 double bedrooms, (one for mum, one for me and DP and the kids share a room) we are hoping to get a loft conversion or extension on the house to add another bedroom in the next couple of years.

I'd really like to have another child is the thing. As soon as possible so they're close in age to my youngest DC. Would I be insane to do so? Is it much more difficult? Advice and your own experience with three kids much appreciated thanks!

Will you be able to afford the work on the house if you have another? Because you could end up rather cramped otherwise. That's the only thing that immediately jumps out at me.

If you think that the lift conversion/ extension is a definite, then I’d say go for it, so long as your DH is on the same page.

If you think there’s a good chance the extension won’t happen then I wouldn’t. Three kids in one room would be a real squash.

I wouldn't let lack of a separate bedroom be the deciding factor. If you have the energy to have another child, it sounds wonderful.
As a mum of 3 it's the tiredness I felt from 2 to 3! Having said that it's been so nice and we can't imagine not having bubba 3 in our lives.
If your mum is physically able, that would be an extra pair of hands on occasion which would be great!

Genuinely can you afford 3 DC? Don’t think about now, when they’re small & cheap - think about a bigger car, holiday costs due a family of 5 vs 4, when they all need activities & getting to and from those etc; when they’re all expensive teens and worse, all at university one after the other...

If you can afford it & won’t be overcrowded go for it. But those are the things that put me off having 3 DC.

If you can afford it then go for it! I have two boys (fiancé does have any of his own bio kids) but we only have a 3-bed so it's not an option for us. If we had enough money we'd definitely be trying (although I'm 38 now anyway so not that much chance even without the money issues!)

If you can afford not just the now- extension, bugger car, school uniforms, school trips, but also when they get older- school uniforms, gadgets, clothes, school trips (ds’s trip is 2k and that’s in a state school) where you may me paying for two at the same time, activities/sports, driving lessons, car, university costs, and so on. Then totally go for it!

Mine are 14&19, and I honestly could not have afforded to get each one what they had/have if they had been close together. Yes I know trips etc are not mandatory, but when all your dc’s friends are going you don’t want them left out. I have boys so the same goes for gadgets, laptops, PC’s, bikes, etc.

You are so happy just now and managing fine. Why risk ruining it?

My SIL has 4 kids (last one was a happy accident). They're a lovely close family, not well off financially but they get by just fine and have a holiday once a year.
They had a 3 bed house but recently got a loft extension with 2 extra bedrooms.
My SIL is always busy dropping them to different after school/weekend activities.
I think if you want a 3rd child and are prepared to sacrifice your own 'me' time for a good few years then go for it. You'll find a way to make it work financially.

I should add that my MIL helps them a great deal as well!

Do it. Life is too short.

I have two 10 and 13 and YY to the extra costs and thinking about this. We've managed to save each 15K towards uni / general trust fund but couldn't do this for more...would have really impacted us. I'm glad we stuck at two now, and yes also 2K trips, uniform costs, nearly £200 just on D of E stuff recently, I don't know how people afford it all for 3 especially when one parent not working.

Oh and the food! It is like cooking for 4 adults now!

It doesn’t sound like you can afford another one. It’s going to put pressure on all the family.