To tell them all to f*#€ off

[desimo]

Ok so I am married with grown up kids. My husband is a complete *€$$head and the marriage has come to a natural end- it has been dead for many many years.

However I have not moved out of the marital home as I have no place to go. Husband is acting a total victim and wants everyone to feel sorry for him hence has agreed to sign over the house to me and he will move out- bitch sil jumps up and says don't do that. So now he has with drawn the offer.

I really need to leave otherwise I fear for my mental health I have one grown up daughter who lives with me- who they are manipulating to marry someone of their choice ( Asian background) she has told me for an easier life she will agree to do what they want. I don't want her to ruin her life like I did mine.

Aibu to say this woman is a meddling old witch who has failed in her life now wants to ruin mine. And advice on how I can get housing. I don't need benefits as I'm working.

Get yourself to a good divorce lawyer

Absolutely a divorce lawyer, as quickly as you can. If possible try to get some paperwork together as well. I haven’t had experience with divorce lawyers as such but when my relationship broke down and things got difficult I went to see several solicitors and chose the one I thought would fight my case the hardest.

Yes solicitor ASAP ,
I know I'm not familiar with Asian traditions but please don't let your daughter marry someone to keep the family happy .

Can you take your adult DD with you?

Your local council should have a Housing Options officer.

I would absolutely take my DD with me. My concern is that she already has anxiety and depression which I don't want to make worse by dragging her through the process. So just want to make arrangements first before I approach her.

Thank you for all the replies

Stay strong

Today I went to my local housing office and made an application. I was told there is a long waiting list but because I'm a key worker I will be prioritised- not sure how much more likely I am to getting housed.

On a different note my SIL house rang to say why am I making so much fuss yes he is abusive but least he doesn't hit me- she had it worse because her husband did hit her!

Why is my suffering any less then hers!

Brought back so many memories of my efforts to divorce my abusive ex!

Knowledge is power. Go to the CAB and get more advice. It was there I met my SHL who was giving free advice. When I told her about my situation she looked at me and said 'let's scare him shitless!'

Abuse is abuse! Does not matter what form it takes. You deserve a happy life and so does your daughter. Can you block your SIL?

Your SIL sounds brainwashed.

Please please do not leave the house. You may well be left trying to get blood out of a stone. Get some decent legal advice and go from there, good luck x

Unless you're in danger, don't move out (assuming it is both names). Can you quietly seek out a decent divorce lawyer and get that ball rolling? Reassure your daughter that she needn't marry anyone not of her choosing and that the rest of it can and will be sorted over time. If you really want to or need to just go, you're working so can you afford a rental? Take daughter with you. Claim top up benefits if needed and available. Ignore SIL. Absolutely none of her business.

I don't know how old your DD is, but would it help to tell the housing people that your DD is being coerced into an arranged marriage by your husband's family and you need to get her away from them as their harassment is starting to affect her mental health and that you feel she will cave to their demands?