To tell ex he's not having DS tomorrow?

[username09982]

Ex insists on having DS 3 nights a week, although I'm not happy with that, but fortunately ex brings that down to 1 or 2 himself by saying he's too busy for 3 nights that week or canceling last minute.
He's also got into the habit of agreeing that if he has him on a nursery night then he'll be dropped there the following morning and then not dropping him there. Today I got a dig about DS needing to 'rest' because 'he's unwell, you know?' and he was kept off nursery (again) just for ex to meet up with one of his mates and bring DS out for food etc.
AIBU to tell him that I don't want him to have him tomorrow (which he thinks he is), because that'll make it every other night back and forth and isn't very stable for him and because I'd rather ensure he was actually dropped to nursery!

Bumping back up for advice!

Spent my life going back and forth between parents houses. Monday one place, Tuesday tbe next ect. Dont put your child through that. Stand your ground

YANBU, all that back and forth isn't good, but what is the harm in him keeping him off nursery and spending the day with him?

I wouldn’t be allowing the back and forth over night but a day off from nursery I wouldn’t be bothered about

How old is DS?

My problem with nursery is I'm the one who works to be able to keep DS in nursery as it's so beneficial to him, and it's so good to have that routine, and I don't get paid maintenance for help towards anything - and then he agrees to drop DS off so I let the nursery know just to not show up and not communicate with me and then (don't want to jump to conclusions but seemingly lie) about DS being unwell and unable to go just to bring him out hanging round with his mates.
I wouldn't mind if it was a one off and he communicated with me about wanting to keep him off so I could let nursery know/know arrangements beforehand but it's coming close to most times and always with an excuse etc, feels more like laziness about actually getting him ready and getting him there/out the house before lunchtime as opposed to actually wanting to spend a whole day with him!

Depends on who is paying for nursery

@bigbeans 2 1/2, almost 3.

@GPatz me!

I know it's a pain that you're paying for nursery and he's not using the space, but it is paid whether he goes or not, and it is just as beneficial for a 2.5yo to spend time with his dad. Even if it's not doing orfa used activities but just day to day life and being around each other. I would tell him that he needs to contact the nursery himself though and let them know when he is planning to not send him kn, and make sure that he brings DS back to you at the time you would be picking up from nursery.

The maintenance issue is nothing to do with him keeping him off nursery. Is he unemployed? If not then you need to sort out maintenance as a priority!