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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I could have a relationship after divorce?

6 replies

Sadness81 · 25/06/2019 19:51

Have you ever found happiness after divorce with young children? I’m considering divorcing my husband because the relationship isn’t working out sexually or emotionally. We have tried counselling. Just wondering if there are people who feel the same way as me. Relationship not terrible but you can’t help hoping there’s something else out there. If you split up did you ever find love afterwards? How soon after? Did you get married? How has it been with the children? Did you ever forgive yourself? Thanks.

OP posts:
Sadness81 · 25/06/2019 22:47

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me please? Thanks

OP posts:
Anarchyshake · 25/06/2019 22:58

Things broke down with my husband. Him leaving was the right thing but it still hurt, I think because he strung it out saying things were fine.

I kissed several frogs afterwards but I've found my diamond in the rough now.

If it's clearly not working despite therapy etc, then you don't have to stay.

Oysterbabe · 25/06/2019 23:01

If you want to leave your husband then leave. It sounds like you'll put up with him if you think you may not find someone else. Being single is fine.

PinkGlitter123 · 25/06/2019 23:10

I know two people who are blissfully happy in new relationships even before divorce.
One had an affair and with the person 15 months later and the other was separated for 4 months and been with her partner for a year. Both are incredibly happy and I think they are very fortunate that things have worked out so well

Missillusioned · 25/06/2019 23:16

I haven't. And it's been 4 years now. I try, but I don't have enough time once I've fitted in work and the kids and it fizzles out.
Other People seem to manage it - I don't know how

BraveGoldie · 26/06/2019 01:06

Yes! I left because my husband was having an affair (with a 23-year old, when we were breaking forty!....yuck). Happened almost four years ago. I had about a year of total misery getting over it, followed by a year of 'not feeling ready to move on' (I had been with him for 21 years, since age 17- so only man I had ever been with!).

It was a huge adjustment, getting over it, rediscovering myself, growing, getting my head around dating.....

But now, I am past my first anniversary with a truly wonderful man. He and I are very compatible - the relationship is far more passionate and fulfilling than my previous one ever was. He treats me infinitely better. My self esteem is way better. My sex life is off the charts in comparison,... and my new man is also much sexier- a true hunk....

My daughter has adjusted very well, after huge efforts on my part to make it a smooth transition and make sure she keeps her father in her life.

One final triumph is that in the four years since, my salary has increased so much, it covers the drop of my ex's salary being removed.

Getting to here was the hardest thing I ever did.... and also the best. I have no idea whether your marriage is worth trying to work on further - it may well be- but if your question is whether there can be life after divorce, It is definitely possible, OP! If you are tough and open to new experiences, the possibilities are endless!

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