To be annoyed with my friend everytime we make arrangements?

[Braneycat]

So I'll start by saying I love my friend dearly. Shes very loyal and shes amazing to me. We struggle to see each other being parents and shift workers, so the fortnightly coffee/pub dates are precious. But for some reason, and I'm guessing its the same issue she has with meeting with me (opposite shifts ect) she always invites someone I don't know outside of her, or her boyfriend. This week it's a friend from her work and her boyfriend, and she never tells/asks me. Often when we meet we have a catch up, which sometimes involves personal things that I don't really want to discuss with a stranger. When her boyfriend tags along, lovely as he is I am definately the third wheel. Is it wrong to want her to myself occasionally?

YANBU. Have you told her how you feel?

No and you need to raise it directly. Next time say 'I'd like it if this catch up could be just us so I can talk freely to you about some things in my life'. If she says 'so and so won't mind' or whatever you will need to say 'Ok, but I'll give it a miss this time in that case'.

This would drive me nuts. Is she short on time to see other people or something?

Tonight I have. Often I'll say things like 'someday I'll get you to myself har har!' But tonight I made it clear that it annoys me, and that when we make plans I would like to at least be asked if I would mind someone else coming along. I understand her social life is limited with working 45 hour weeks as well as being a single parent, and in a fairly new relationship so I don't mind it sometimes. I also genuinely like her boyfriend but its every time now and the friend from work is pretty much a stranger. I'm not very good at confrontation and shes gotten funny with me, but I had to tell her.

Just to play devil’s advocate, are you generally reliable about meeting up with her? I had a friend who was forever cancelling on me, so I started only arranging to meet her as part of a group to make sure I wouldn’t be left alone if she pulled another disappearing act. She got a bit sniffy about hope I never wanted to meet ‘just the two of us’ anymore, but I never knew if she was going to turn up.

As others have said, it may be simply that she’s short on time to catch up with everyone. That said, it’s not fair of her to spring extra guests on you. You’d be perfectly reasonable to tell her you want to meet up one on one as you’d appreciate a private conversation.

How close are you? Do you both makes these mutual arrangements? I think sometimes people don't like one to one with certain friends. Sorry.
I had a friend I use to dread meeting alone as she talked non stop about her personal life, like it was a article for Hello....she liked us to be alone so I could give her my undivided attention.
It is probably not the same for you.

No I'm reliable. In the 6 years we've been friends I've cancelled a handful of times, as has she, mostly due to our children being sick. Sometimes I'm late but its definately not a regular thing for me to cancel. I love spending time with her x

@EmeraldShamrock it's actually funny you say that because it's often me who sits there and can't get a word in 😂 but no I don't think that's the case, we're pretty even on arranging meet ups. She probably invites me out more often than me inviting her, mostly because I work less hours than her so its easier for me to work around her so she let's me know when shes free.

This annoys me too, OP. It completely changes the dynamics with someone else there, particularly someone you don’t know all that well. I have a friend who is like this. She’s a really easy going type who would happily invite whoever, but it’s kind of annoying.

Braneycat I think you're right she is trying to fit everyone in.
Yanbu to find it tiring, especially bring the partner as nice as friends partners are it completely changes the evening.
I would ask her honestly is there a reason.
I also believe she knows you'd like to meet alone, even if you mentioned it in jest, she is avoiding alone time for some reason.
I'd ask her why?