To not know the best option?

[FloorOfDespair]

DD goes to a dance class. Her best friend's mum asked me to arrange that best friend could go for a trial lesson. It will be this afternoon.

B-F-mum has asked if I can take B-F as she has visitors this afternoon and offered me the use of her car. Don't need it as I've mine today. But I don't think 3 car seats will fit. She has isofix seats, which I'm not sure my car can do.

If the seats don't fit in the back, do I:
Leave my 9 year old home alone for 1hr 30 (not serious, I think it's too long)?

Assuming her car seat will fit in back, put DS on his seat in the front?

If it doesn't fit, put friend in DS's seat and DS (who is 3cm short of not needing a seat) in the middle back between the two car seats?

Or put DS in front seat with no car seat, as there's an air bag there.

1 min in village, 2mins on country road then generally 7-10 mins in slow moving traffic through town.

I would say that you can't take the friend. I certainly wouldn't leave a 9 year old for that long or drive a child illegally without a car seat.

How old are the kids? If they need to legally be in car seats I don’t see how you can take them all at once, so you’ll need to tell the friend’s mum she has to make her own way there.

I'd also bear in mind that whatever you do on the 'trial' trip, could become the norm if best friend joins the class!

Yes but by then the mums driving ban should be over....
DS is 9, 147cm, girls are 7

Maybe say “no, sorry, no can do. My car can’t squeeze three child seats in on the back”

Harsh, but it shouldn’t be your problem to get her child to dance class!

Just say you can't do it, it's already causing you a problem

You do know that children over 135cm don't need a car seat - your ds is well over that and could easily be in the middle of the back or in the front seat at 147cm.

Can you turn off the airbag and put ds in his seat up front?

I thought it was 150cm or 12?

It’s definitely over 135cm to not need a car seat. DS in the front with no seat, 2 x 7 yr olds in seats in the back?

No, it's 150 where I live. I had no idea U.K. was different to other countries in Europe. Should have known 😂

DS is 9? I'd put him in the front in his car seat and put the girls in the back (if they're younger?). It's not ideal but for one journey it's still safer than him going without a seat. I don't suppose DS has a friend he can hang out with for that 1.5 hours?

You presumably aren’t going to risk breaking the law and endangering your child just to do this woman a favour, so tell her you can’t help.

Just say you can't safely fit them all in. Unless You meet her at her house and she looks after your DS whilst you take her DD?

Her visitors can take her +her dd. Surely she should want to be there?

Noyou can't leave your nine year old alone for an hour and a halfor put him in the front seat. Absolutely no.

It's actually one of those problems that is a good problem--you couldn't have a more solid excuse for saying no to an unreasonable request. This woman should be taking her daughter for this occasion.

In uk you can take a child in middle without a seat if you cannot fit 3 but it sounds as if you are elsewhere. Are children under 12 allowed in front seat there? Maybe bf mum will need to leave her guests for the trip while you wait at dance class.

I would put DS (9) on his seat in the front (if he still needs it) and turn the air bag off.

Alternatively see if you can sort him a play date if it is a one off.