To think sometimes it's pointless trying to better yourself.

[SeagullPoopOnYourHead]

I went from working pt to full time. I did it because We were always scraping the barell with nothing left at the end of the month and I wanted to be able to not worry about money. I did all my calculations online, checked entitled to and thought we would be considerably better off.
Turns out not. I get no help with rent, no help with council tax and my tax credits have been cut by £90 a week. We are basically in the same position financially as we were before except now I'm completely exhausted and get to see my children a lot less. I'm a single parent so don't have much help from family etc and the child maintenance service are having a nightmare trying to get my ex to pay.

Not sure what the point of my rant is but it frustrates me that it doesn't pay to work. I live a fairly frugal lifestyle already. I shop at Aldi, we don't go on lavish holidays....we go camping. My car is a cheap run around. I have a sim only mobile. I've cut my bills to the bone. I kind of wish I hadn't bothered to get this job now.

I get you. I am about to start a 35k job but I won't really be much better off as I'm propped up as a ft working single mum now via tax creds. The big advantage I keep telling myself is that it's earned income and the gov can't decide I can't have it

But it does pay to work because you don’t live off the state, your children see the example you set, and it increases your self esteem to pay your own way. Will your company pay for you to take a course to develop your skills?

Well on the other hand, you are now taking significantly less money from other people which is great. Being financially responsible for yourself is a kind of freedom. You should’ve congratulating yourself for lessening your dependence on handouts and for setting a great example to your children.

I get it. It's bloody hard.
However, maybe this job could be a stepping stone to a higher paying role in future? I hope it works out for you.

To increase your earnings, you now need to get on every single training course offered (& not offered) and then move jobs every two years if youre not promoted. In a few years time it will have been worth it.

Are there any extras in your pay pack that can help soften it? A pension contribution by an employer or healthcare or hope of promotion in a few years.

@BogglesGoggles is correct! Independence! And one day the kids will be grown and the lovely money will actually be yours

I can see your frustration in this situation op. But, are you in a profession where you can be promoted and your pay will go up? If so, then it'll be worth it eventually. Move jobs every few years if you have to and don't be afraid to negotiate for higher pay.

I know it’s a difficult transition op but if you stayed as you were you wouldn’t be able to grow your income.
It may be hard for a few years but while you’re in full time employment their may be more opportunities for you to progress your job and grow your salary.

you should be very proud of yourself

It will pay off in the long run, when the children are older it will pay off.
Your in an unfortunate situation if the DC are very young.
There really isn't much financial difference in working FT as a single mother to working part time with tax credit top ups.
Can you go part time for a few years.

Yeah, I get what you mean and it's bloody hard. But I do agree that you're setting a good example to your children and keeping your career options open by being ft and like others say that's got the potential for promotion or training that can enable you to earn more. It does feel a bit soul destroying at this stage, but I'm coming through it and have gained a sort of promotion, but more importantly a pay rise this year. Although not entirely out of TC I'm not far off now and it's put me in a much better position for when DD is older and at college, and then university, to not just work more hours, but go for the promotions I can't right now because I do need to be around for her and give support still and those promotions can mean being called in at the drop of a hat, much longer hours and phone calls and emails that I'd need to answer at home no matter what. In a couple of years time though I'll be able to and I'm already grateful I worked ft and did it this way, as the rewards are slowly starting to come. Hang in there, it's worth it, but you need to see it as a long game when you're a single mum

It does pay in the long run. I've always worked full time, paid a mortgage and nursery fees. Used to get annoyed seeing woman living in bigger detached house at end of our road on benefits with one child, getting rent paid for and only working 12 hrs a week. Years later she had to downsize because of bedroom tax, so living in smaller house than me. She still only works part time tho and her child is in high school now!

It might feel pointless in the present time but it won't be in the future and the future will be here before you know it.

Working ft will very likely give you more opportunities to better yourself and increase your salary than working PT.

Also, going from PT to FT is always hard and many single parents continue to work PT because having been used to that lifestyle can't contemplate working FT. Then the youngest finish school and they face the shock of being required to look for FT positions, harassed by the job centre and struggle to find anything that pays well.

It's then that you can look back and appreciate the choice you've made to work FT earlier.

Do you have a better pension now?

I'm a LP and hate working. I just cling onto the fact I have a pension. My dcs hate me working 🤷‍♀️. Yep, we've had an awful morning.

I was the same OP. Different circumstances, I'm not a single parent. But I moved from part time to full time and now we are actually probably a few quid worse off a month because of the child care costs. (Didn't pay any when I was working PT).

The advantage for me was I am actually seeing my kids more because I'm not working evenings and weekends anymore. That was my main driving force to change. DS2 starts FT school in September which will also help. Plus my job does have reasonable prospects.

It is shit OP. And I know these people say it's better to be self sufficient etc. But in reality I think most people would prefer to not have to work all the time to earn money.

I know it's hard but in the long term, it will make a difference. The children will need less childcare, you will be eligible for promotion, either way, they see you providing for them and that is a great example. Now if your X did the same that would make a difference.

You need to think long term, not about this week or month.

Who knows what will happen to benefits in the future?

Your earned income will rise faster than benefits.

It's bloody hard. Is there a clear career path for this job or do you need to spend some time researching how to progress? Agree you are definitely more likely to progress as a ft worker, pt workers are overlooked totally.

BogglesGoggles Tue 25-Jun-19 07:52:26
Well on the other hand, you are now taking significantly less money from other people which is great. Being financially responsible for yourself is a kind of freedom. You should’ve congratulating yourself for lessening your dependence on handouts and for setting a great example to your children.

Seems to me that it's employers the state is propping up. People in full-time jobs should be making a living wage, but it doesn't seem to happen.

It's shit. And anybody who gets all holier than thou about claiming off the state can fuck off.

However. If you aren't claiming from them/aren't totally dependent upon them, they can't fuck it up or take it away from you to 'prove' to their voters that they're 'tough on single parents' or need to chuck the people about to vote brexit a bone.

Well on the other hand, you are now taking significantly less money from other people which is great. Being financially responsible for yourself is a kind of freedom. You should’ve congratulating yourself for lessening your dependence on handouts and for setting a great example to your children.

Seems to me that it's employers the state is propping up. People in full-time jobs should be making a living wage, but it doesn't seem to happen.

I'd add to that they're propping up all the absent parents not paying their contribution too. If things were a little more proactive in that direction then maybe maintenance could be taken into consideration where TC and the like are concerned because it'd be far more likely to be a guaranteed amount.

What MitziK said. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Working FT does increase your independence and security, OP, both now (with the vindictive tendencies this and predecessor governments appear to have towards people who struggle) and in the long term.

However. Talk of 'congratulating yourself for reducing your dependence on handouts' and 'raising your self-esteem by paying your own way' makes me uncomfortable. The implication is that people who can't 'pay their own way' for whatever reason are in some way less worthy, and that can be a very, very slippery slops, never mind it not being good for our society to get into the habit of thinking of other human beings in these categories.

Slope, not slops. FFS. I never seem to be able to make a post without a typo.

Just feeling very tired and sorry for myself this morning. I'm so tired I am holding back tears at my desk.
Working full time has benefits and I agree I must focus on the bigger picture ie I actually have decent pension contributions now. I knew it would be hard but I thought the raise in income would compensate it.

I'm so tired I am holding back tears at my desk

I am so sorry to hear that, OP, especially as you Ex is getting off scot-free, so to speak. CMS in this country is awful.

In the long run, it will be worth it. This is the shittest period - you are breaking out of the "benefits trap" and it's called that for a reason.

The good news is that now you have no ceiling on your income and life will get easier as you get promoted or find new opportunities. You are also being very wise in doing it early on: you would still be facing this dilemma later on when your DC leave full-time education without the benefit of the training, experience or pension contributions you are banking now.

Good luck.