Inspired by Meh friend thread

[NoFucks]

Inspired by the Meh friend thread I just wanted to say that last year I was doing a horrendous job, 3 hour daily commute, terrible job in terms of stress and pressure, rarely got a lunch break, would be out of my house from 7am till 7pm....

And I realised that not only was I not seeing my friends and some family, that I seemed to have stopped hearing from them also. It then hit me that before I had no time to even scratch my backside due that job, it must have been me making a lot of effort with others.

So me and DP had a chat about this and the outcome was "fuck them" we stopped making an effort with certain people and concluded that we would only put in the effort with others that they put in with us. And I have to say how liberating it has been. I've got friends I don't hear from and I don't care! DP hasn't seen his family in months. And he doesn't care (his parents have only been to our house once in 4 years, and his siblings have never visited).

We have lost a few contacts and absolutely no fucks given!

If anyone did say something to us about the massive decrease in contact I would happily tell them we are simply reciprocating the effort they put into us.

I imagine with your schedule you probably had little to offer friends. It's not nice but I've definitely drifted from people when they stopped having any time for me.

I hope you have a more manageable schedule

I think everyone has busy lifestyles. Work (long commute), children, aging parents who rely on them (drs/hospital/grocery shop/paying bills, cleaning & company). I'm finding it to be time consuming. Children need taking to their sports clubs at the weekend too not to mention guided homework. My husband works shifts including the weekend. I wouldnt take it personally if friends havent reached out for a social visit.

I stopped making the effort with a lot of people after my Mum died. Not with any animosity, just with limited time and energy I realised it was a waste of both to chase people who don't make the effort.

I don't miss them, and I'm pretty sure they don't miss me.

I did this a few years ago. Have now got a small circle of casual friends, which suits me. Family has drifted - lots of moaning which stopped after I pointed out that they could ring or visit me for a change.

Life is much more peaceful as a result. I spend my time with people who reciprocate my effort and as a result I don't feel that things are one sided.

I've always been like this. I have one bestie best friend, 1 medium friend a handful of acquaintances that I don't see very often but when we manage a get together maybe 2 times a year we have a good laugh. That's plenty for me.

I also have a few old friends who live far away and I would like to see more of but we all have small children so we mostly just chat on whatsapp to keep in touch.

I think at this time in life when everyone my age has small children you just have to put friendships on the back burner but try and keep in touch with the people that really matter.

My family is another matter. I've given up in them entirely apart from my sister.