Aibu - I'm thinking of disowning my family

[sniggy11]

I have 6 siblings. I have remembered my 9 nieces'/nephews' birthdays every single year of their lives - without exception. I put a lot of thought into their presents (e.g. birthstone jewellery for landmark birthdays, engraved cutlery/name toys for little ones etc).
My twins have just turned 5, my older sister acknowledged their birthday. No-one else has. A happy birthday on MY POST on FB just doesn't cut it. Im not expecting presents, just a card. Just something to show my kids matter.
It seems that unless I invite my siblings to (and they actually bother to attend) my twins birthday party, that they don't care.
I grew up feeling second class and I don't want that for my kids. My oldest notices (of course, I've never said anything to her). I feel that I'm flogging a dead horse in my relationships with the rest of my siblings.
Its not just the birthdays, I moved 2.5hrs away from London (where they are) over 11 years ago. I've had about 5 visits between the lot of them and 3 of those were because they wanted lodging.
If i see them, it's always because I've made the effort to travel to London; I know if they wanted to see me, they'd make the effort.
There are other complications (my brother gets married this year, my daughter next year) which I'll just have to deal with, but I feel I'm done now. I don't see why I have to hold on to dead relationships just because we share the same parents. It hurts me more to keep them in my life. AIBU?

Well you have a right to be hurt on behalf of your children but I think cutting them off without explaining why is a little unreasonable.
I'd send a text to all of them saying that you didnt realise no presents or cards were being sent to nieces and nephews but you'll adhere to that from now on. See what responses you get and decide what to do then.

Agree with above. Just send a text along the lines of something like oh I noticed we didn't do bday presents this year so guessing that's going to be the case going forwards? So hard to cut family off.

I honestly think that you’d be better off teaching your children that birthdays are celebrated with immediate family, friends as you get older, and anything else is a bonus.

People have different values - it doesn’t mean they don’t love or care for you.

My husband literally opens cards and puts them in the bin - he thinks they’re a waste of time.

I have no interest in my birthday beyond a cake.

I don’t send cards and don’t expect them - I’m perfectly touched if anyone posts to me on FB and that’s what I do.

If your family’s actions in general are abhorrent then that’s one thing, but cutting off over birthday cards is a bit daft.

It’s big step to take, not everyone cares about birthday cards, or birthdays, tbh I often only get a gift if I know I will see that person in their actual birthday. Except my kids of course.
You are bu to assume everyone has the same standards as you.
I wouldn’t send a passive aggressive “ oh so we aren’t doing presents anymore” message. Just do nothing, think along the lines of you buy them what they buy you.
Unless there is something you are not mentioning, I’d say you are more invested than them but that doesn’t mean they don’t care.