to feel upset at being excluded by my colleagues?

[Embarrassed19]

I have been aware for some time that there are many social events organised by work colleagues that I am not invited to. Ok, fair enough, they are not work related and while I think I am friendly with that group I understand they can include who they like in their socialising outside work.
Today I was hurt though. We were at after work drinks in the pub when several people I was in a conversation with started talking about these social events that I am never included in. They then went on to laugh about how one of them had nearly accidentally invited another colleague to their next meet up and they all laughed about how awkward would have been. Not caring about how awkward that was for me, sat with them, who is also never invited. Even worse is that it was the head of HR who made the joke, I feel they should know better.
I know I should rise above it all (and I will), but AIBU for being upset at them being so thoughtless?

YANBU. They are twats. Chin up. You're better than that X

Urgh. How mean. Horrible group of women. You are too good for that circle.

@pinkpantherpink @SandraOhshair thank you both for taking the time to reply. I am too embarrassed to talk about the fact this has upset me a bit to my rl friends so I really appreciate it.

What arseholes!

Don't be embarrassed op, they should be embarrassed. Nasty people

If they did include you would you want to be associated with such a bunch of knobbers?

It's not nice of them, no need to be embarrassed that it's hurt your feelings 💐

Oh this is horrible OP. If it makes you feel better I never get invited to any out of work fun.

I would avoid them, not go to after work drinks with them.

@Finfintytint very good point. No, not at all now I have seen this behaviour. But still a little bit of me wonders why I am not included. Onwards and upwards!

That's horrible OP, please just try and ignore them. To be honest, whilst we generally have an open invitation to any works social gathering I think I have declined on 95% of occasions.

What bitches!!! I regularly explain to my teenaged DD that some women do not grow out of that bitchy phase. Talk about the wonderful things you do, show them you don’t need an invite to their crappy get together.

That is awful!!! I worked with two women years ago who did this with me. I am weirdly v good friends with one now (as I pointed it out and it stopped). Six years later I often pass the other woman near work and look straight ahead. Very upsetting when you are in it but once you move, you realise they are not people you want to be friends with and really you are missing nothing. Work friends are generally just for while you are in that job.

What an absolutely thoughtless, horrible bunch. I'd have been tempted to throw it right back at the person who made the joke and point out the irony of what she'd said. Of course you didn't because you're way more polite and kind than they are. Perhaps you should hang out with the other excluded colleague that they were talking about.

Seriously this could be written for one of those management courses that (ironically) hr ensure we go on - your head of hr should certainly know better!
Yanbu op at all - they are unprofessional shit heads!

Thanks all, it is nice to hear I am not being overly sensitive to find this a bit upsetting. This has shown me that I don’t want to be part of their group anyway, so I will continue to be polite but will focus on my friends outside work in future!

I think there is a difference between colleagues, work friends and actual friends (who you may happen to work with).

If a group of people socialise out of work together then that's totally ok.

However to joke about it in work and act like it is some little clique is really unprofessional and unkind.

Please don't let it get to you, I think you're better off without them as friends, they sound clueless and self absorbed. I never really understood the work colleagues socializing to be truthful. I've made occasional friends I still see outside of work, but having spent all day with these people, I have always preferred to spend my down time with proper friends and family.