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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU and helicopterish or is DH being lax?

21 replies

BloodyMaud · 24/06/2019 21:43

Holiday resort, DS1 is 4, 5 next month and is currently running round playing with three other little boys of similar age, possibly closer to turning 6. DH has gone into one of the bars off the main patio terrace area (which is fairly large - currently sitting around 60 people and barely half full) with DS2 who wants to dance to the music they have in there. I'm not comfortable leaving DS1 out here alone with the other boys, even though obv he'd know where we were and I'm not currently doing anything other than keeping half an eye on him from about 50m away. As far as he's concerned he's doing his own thing. DH thinks I'm being ridiculous and DS1 would be fine with check every five minutes and clear info about our whereabouts. I think 4 (even almost 5) is too young to be left without parental supervision in a place full of strangers and with ready access to swimming pools (even though we're not near the pools - they could take it into their heads to do anything at all in five minutes!). Just for info we're not arguing about this- just agreeing to disagree - but I'm wondering which way mumsnet as a whole would lean.

OP posts:
trilbydoll · 24/06/2019 21:45

Somewhere we went regularly (without pools!) and he knew well, maybe. On holiday, unfamiliar location, lots of strangers - absolutely not.

Passthecherrycoke · 24/06/2019 21:48

No I would keep an eye on him too. Mainly due to the pools

Orchidflower1 · 24/06/2019 21:49

NO SODDING WAY!!!
There is no way I’d let my 4 year old play out in my front garden/ park/ grasses area without supervision and def 100% not near water in an unfamiliar area, possibly with different language spoken. Far too many variables to go wrong.

Howlovely · 24/06/2019 21:51

What benefit is there of only checking on him every 5 minutes vs keeping an eye on him? I'd be like you, I wouldn't let him out of my sight!

42isthemeaning · 24/06/2019 21:51

I definitely wouldn't let a very young child play out of my sight or out of earshot. It wouldn't matter if we were at home or on holiday.

AliceAbsolum · 24/06/2019 21:52

Yanbu

nanbread · 24/06/2019 21:52

I think lots of parents are generally overprotective but in this case YANBU because of the pools, unless he was an unusually strong swimmer and they had lifeguards

GeorgeTheFirst · 24/06/2019 21:53

No way. If he does a runner he could get a long way in 5 mins. Too young to be trusted to be sensible for another year or two.

thewinkingprawn · 24/06/2019 21:56

Crikey me and DH are incredibly relaxed about letting kids have their independence but there is absolutely no way if there is genuine access to a pool and we’re not just talking playing in a well gated shut small area that we would do that. It sounds bonkers.

DrReed · 24/06/2019 21:57

YANBU.

Plus wouldn't it be more annoying getting up and going outside every few minutes to check on him rather than just chilling where you are?

chuttypicks · 24/06/2019 21:57

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fairybeagle · 24/06/2019 22:04

YANBU

Leeds2 · 24/06/2019 22:07

I wouldn't leave my 4/5 year old in the circumstances you describe, so I think YANBU.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 24/06/2019 22:08

100% no. Absolutely not. I would never ever leave any kind of 4 year old in that situation. They are 4. I would be severely concerned at any parent who thought this waa acceptable.

Gintonic · 24/06/2019 22:11

No way. In a place you know well with other parents around who your son knows then maybe, depending on his maturity. On holiday, absolutely no.

JanuaryBirthdays · 24/06/2019 22:14

YANBU, at all, in the slightest.

NCforthis2019 · 24/06/2019 22:14

Yanbu. I turned for a few seconds to see where my 2 year old son was and as I turned around to face my daughter again - my daughter was drowning (she walked into the pool thinking it was shallow) She was 4 at that time and it frightened the life out of me.

Xmasfairy86 · 24/06/2019 22:16

Chances are he’ll be fine, however you cannot prove that. Being on holiday should be about relaxing, but anything can happen in five minutes when your not watching. I think he should be within sight at that age and in unfamiliar surroundings

VladmirsPoutine · 24/06/2019 22:16

Yanbu. No 4 year old should be left just doing "their own thing" anywhere that isn't in their own home, parked infront of the TV watching a cartoon and snacking on something or other.

Sundancer77 · 24/06/2019 22:20

No way would I leave him, it’s not just the pools, foreign place, lots of people..anything could happen 🙈Makes my heart a bit racy thinking about it.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 24/06/2019 22:26

No way. Absolutely no way.

Chances are everything would be fine... but water, strangers- just no.

If you had asked someone to babysit the kids and they’d proposed allowing ds1 to just check in with them every few minutes would dh be ok with that?

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