To want to cover the childcare after operation?

[stillworkingitout]

DS has had a date through for an operation in a few months’ time. He is mostly well, but recurrent illness has made this operation necessary, likely an overnight stay and 2 weeks recovery.

I was chatting with my boss earlier about the leave needed and that I would be out of action for 2 weeks following the op. He suggested I should be sharing the leave with DH, but I don’t actually want to. I want to be there for the op and definitely the first week, and I can’t think much beyond that. I don’t want to be working at that time. I have annual leave, but my employer also has paid carers leave that I’m entitled to (though boss has to approve it). I could also take unpaid leave though would be resentful as there are structures in place to pay me at this time.

Am I unreasonable to want to be there for DC during this time? Boss has older kids and does do a lot of childcare, as does my DH, but I want to be there for this. DH will also be a few weeks into a new job with a new employer at the time of the op, so him taking leave at that time is not as easy as it is for me.

Bump

I can completely understand why you want the time off. You have leave you are entitled to use, and have given a valid reason why you wish to take it. Of you are in work you would be fully focused on the job anyway. Does your boss know why it would be difficult for your partner to take leave? If I went into work and said I needed time off as dd was going into hospital I would be told to take the leave I needed. I don't think sharing the leave would be suggested in the way you suggested either, even though they know dh could also take leave. (we have the same employer) It may be suggested so I don't have to use do much leave, but only to try and be helpful, not to push me to return earlier. On reality we would both take a day or two off, then would split it between us anyway, but circumstances allow us to do that. Hope the operation goes well.

Your last paragraph clearly shows why it is difficult for your DH to take time off. I would assume he may want to be there for the operation but anything else in a new job is not really advisable.

I would insist on a mix of annual leave and paid leave to your boss. If your DH covered previous childcare emergencies you may want to point this out and just say this time it is not possible.

Thanks @talkingfrog - you’ve helped me to see something. I saw the question as something akin to I shouldn’t be taking it all, but very often we do share things so maybe the query was meant to be helpful. Truth is, at the moment I don’t actually want to be at work during this period, certainly not the first week. I expect I will do a bit from home at some point but I don’t want to have to.

My mindset is akin to ‘I’m not working during this period and I don’t really care what kind of leave it is but I’d rather be paid as there is a policy that allows this.

I’m sure operation will be fine, is routine, but outing

Yes @reluctantbrit I expect we will both be at the hospital for the day of the op. We actually have a very generous carers’ leave policy which will entitle me to the full 2 weeks paid, so I could use that.