To be worried about pregnant friend

[Mamma92]

Hi all so this is my first post so bear with me, one of my close friends are pregnant around 22 weeks has been diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and just does not seem to be taking it seriously. She has done nothing to keep her self healthy is drinking lots of caffeine and hasnt reduced her salt intake which she was advised to before she got pregnant because of high blood pressure. She just says it's fine they will just keep a closer eye on her and that she might deliver early which is more of an inconvenience to her more than anything because it means more midwife/ scan appointments and is worried about the time off work she has to take because of these extra appointments! she also goes a few days without feeling any movement from baby but doesn't ring the midwife to check the baby is ok just drinks a sugary drink and jumps up and down till she feels some movement!

Just dropping by to give this one a ^^boost

Really quick as I don't want to read and run, but can you get her a Kick Counter wristband? Really bring home the importance of monitoring movement daily x

She's 22 weeks. They won't monitor movements until 26 weeks. Some women haven't even felt movement at this point.

Hmm, well I'd be worried too, but as I see it you've only really got two options:

Carry on as you are, worrying about her and being there for her to talk to but without really telling her your worries.

Or

Face the difficult conversation and tell her your thoughts and be fully prepared for her to be defensive and tell you it's none of your business and risk the friendship.

Ultimately you can't make her change her behaviour but maybe having that hard conversation will at least make you feel like you've done the right thing.
Tough either way, how close friends are you? How long have you known her? Does she have a partner you can talk to about your worries maybe then they can take the responsibility for talking to her about it?

If she isnt taking her midwife and health professionals advice, Im not altogether sure what some random opinion on the internet will achieve.

Google your worst stories, but I doubt that will chivvy her up

Another thought - does she actually want the baby, or might she be hoping nature will take its course and she will misscarry? You never know what goes on in peoples minds.

Unfortunately my friend was in this situation. Getting diagnosed with preeclampsia so early in the pregnancy is very dangerous for the mother and baby. My friend ending up having to have a c-section at 25 weeks and her baby died. Your friend sounds bizarre to have such little disregard for herself or her baby. I’m not sure what you can do. No doubt someone like her who couldn’t care less will be fine and it’s my poor friend who tried everything to keep herself and baby healthy who lost her child.

Thanks for replying its a very strange situation as she has actually been trying for this baby for a long time but was advised to sort her blood pressure out before trying to conceive but she didnt bother to just sort of brushed it under the carpet. I have tried to speak to her about so has another friend by telling her a story of someone with preclampsia having to deliver at 30 weeks and she just said yeah thats probably what will just happen to me but theres no just about it the poor baby was in hospital for 8 weeks nothing seems to be sinking in

AnnaSteen im so sorry to hear that happened to youre friend i cant imagine the heartbreak they must of gone through its awful xx

harper30 we have been friends for around ten years however our friendship has been a bit strained recently when i found out i was pregnant she wasnt very nice to me and i understood that she had been trying for a baby too and it wasnt happening for her so most of my pregnancy i had nasty comments made by her towards me but tried to ignore it as i know its not easy dealling with fertility issues but now shes pregnant im so shocked at how work seems to be coming before her and her baby

Oh yikes sounds like things are a bit strained anyway, did she ever acknowledge that she hadn't been a very good friend during your pregnancy?
Sounds like there could be all sorts of things going on in the background, like PPs have said, even though this was a longed for pregnancy she might feel scared or regretful, or she might be comparing herself to you and think she's somehow failing because she's got issues in the pregnancy?
It doesn't sound like there's much you can do, and if she was horrible to you during your pregnancy I don't think you'd be an awful person to just distance yourself a bit from her, I think that's what I would do ☹️

harper30 thank you for youre advice id never thought of it like that you could be right, no she has never acknowledged how she was during my pregnancy and it wasnt like i didnt understand her situation i had also struggled with with fertility issues after misscarraige and two years of ttc but i was always minful of not rubbing her face in it when i was pregnant xx