eBay etiquette

[MyNameIsRachelAndIWantAPresent]

Just sold a heavy item on eBay - the buyer messed me around a bit with collection days, but finally turned up today. I showed him where it was outside and left him to put it in his car. He's since sent me several sarcastic ranty emails about how rude I was for not helping him lift it into his car. I'm in my 50's with a bad back, so no way could I ever lift anything like that.
His emails say (fairly nastily) I should have either helped or given him an explanation why I wasn't going to.
As it is a heavy item, I think he should have either double checked somebody would be there who could help him, or bought somebody with him.
Who is BU? Was I obliged to explain to him why I couldn't help?

Block him. He's rude.

Usually it's down to the seller to advise if the buyer needs to bring an extra pair of hands to help lift heavy items.

I think you should have mentioned in your correspondence that you'd be unable to help lift it into the car so it wouldn't have been an issue. He isn't to know you have a bad back.

I agree he isn't to know I have a bad back, but he did know how heavy it is and I'm sure there would be a lot of people who could not lift it or simply would not want to risk it.
Is it really up to me to make sure he can load the item?
What would have happened if I dropped it and it broke? Would I have to refund him?

Surely the buyer knows if he's buying something heavy and should ask if the seller can help, why should the seller take any responsibility, it's Ebay not a full service high end shop.

If he’s collecting, the logistics of collection are on him. When I bought a second-hand door, I checked with the seller if they would help me load it into the car.

Hes BU as I do think that he should have checked rather than just assume there would be help available.

That being said, any time I post something I always lay out the fine print to "idiot-proof" everything i.e. collect from second floor/ will require 2 people to carry/ beware - heavy item / will require a van.

I've always been explicit in adverts, "can't help to lift I'm afraid, van will definitely be needed to move the item". This is after an eejit turned up to buy an 8 seater solid wood table from me in a bloody Ford fiesta

When I sell heavy items, I always mention that it's heavy and it may require more than 1 person to lift it. I also mention that I live in a first floor flat so that they know they'll have carry it down a flight of stairs.
I'm not surprised he was annoyed to be honest, but I am surprised he felt the need to be quite so rude - surely one email voicing his annoyance would have been enough!

I'd expect the vendor to help lift items into a car. I bought a vacuum clenaer second hand last summer and whilst I could have hauled it into the car myself (Vaxes seem to be really heavy), I was 7 months pregnant so was thrilled when the vendor offered to load it into the car for me. Would I have loaded a heavy item into my car alone as you described in the OP? No. The vendor has always offered to help with chairs, furniture etc.

How did you accept payment? (Hopefully
by cash on collection!)

I also think you should have said in the advert that you wouldn’t be able to help with lifting.

He didn't need to be nasty about it but I agree with the underlying point.

It is usual to mention in the listing that it will require another person to lift it and that you are not able to do so.

In fact it is advisable to mention anything that might cause a problem at any time and try to prevent it.

PopWentTheWeasel - completely agree if you are pregnant then the seller should help if they can. But there is a big difference between the weight of a hoover and this thing.
Because it was a heavy item, I presumed he would have a plan for moving it that did not reply on me. If he had asked for my help I would have said no to a daytime collection and told him to come in the evening when DH is around.
He turned up in a fancy car and a suit, so maybe he didn't want to handle the garden item which was full of leaves and rubbish (yes - sold as such - it's clear in the pictures that it is dirty). Maybe he thought there would be a team of minions in work gear to move it and he would just direct from a distance.
Anyway - lesson learned. I shall flag it up next time I sell anything that I won't be carrying things around for anyone.

We sold a huge garden item once and did flag up that time that it was a two man job and would required a large van, but the buyer turned up with a small van on his own and was pretty annoyed.
A few times we've had people turn up when we have specifically told them it is not convenient and then take the hump when we can't drop everything and help them move stuff. They then leave a bad review because we were unwelcoming. Too right we were unwelcoming - they were asked not to come at the same time as overseas visitors that we hadn't seen in 5 years!