One of my oldest and best friends is getting married on Saturday. We quite often go for long-ish periods of not seeing each other, due to not living in the same town and having busy lives, but sooner or later we always get together for much wine and a good natter and all is fine.
Anyway, I've not seen her since Christmas 2005, which is quite a bit longer than our normal periods of being incommunicado. Since then she's met a new man, they've moved in and now they're getting married. DH and I are going to the wedding on Saturday.
BUT, I think it's a bit odd that I've never met her husband-to-be. She's been quite evasive, almost secretive, about him. All I know is he's a potter and I gather he's a bit older than her. She was non-committal when I suggested we meet up a few months ago and I got the feeling that she'd really rather not. TBH after that I wasn't expecting to receive a wedding invitation, but receive one we did. BUT, it was only for DH and myself, not our dses, which I thought was odd.
AND, when ds3 was born in April this year I sent her a picture of him by MMS, and all I received back was a short "Congratulations" text. No card, no phone call, just a text. She was quite effusive when dses 1 and 2 were born, in fact her card for ds1 was one of my favourites. When I rang her parents to accept the invitation I asked if it would be OK to bring ds3, as I'm BFing. Although they said "of course" they've asked me to sit at the back of the church so we don't annoy anyone if ds3 cries. Now, I would have done that anyway, but I feel a bit put out to be asked so starkly - I would have thought they knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't ruin the service.
She's also asked another friend of ours to be her chief bridesmaid. The three of us used to to go out together, but my friend and I were always the closest. I have no problem with her being the bridesmaid, in fact I couldn't have done it as I'm feeding ds3, but it would have been nice to have been asked or at least to have it explained rather than just be told that "X is going to be chief bridesmaid - you don't mind do you?"
Finally, not having heard of any pre-wedding meal or drinks, I tried to contact my friend to see if she is able to meet for a quick lunch or even just coffee. I know she's probably running round like a headless chicken, but I think she's at her parents' house, which isn't far from where I live, and I've been trying for over a week now but no reply.
Sorry this is so long. If you're still with me, am I being unreasonable to think that it would be best to just go to the wedding (as we've already accepted), then just quietly let the friendship drop? Or should I make more of an effort?