To want a thread appreciating decent step parents

[GreenJar]

Because it's a really tough job sometimes?

I am a parent, step mother and step daughter myself.

It is not always easy to love other people's children, to get on with ex wives/husband's or to sit on the side whilst your spouse parents with someone else, to know when to stay out and when to get involved, to be fair and respectful, kind and welcoming whilst still having a say in your home.

There are days when it isn't easy to be and do the above, when the children are testing or I don't agree with DH or his ex etc... but I do it and thankfully have a really lovely little relationship with the kids because of it.

My step father is also brilliant. My Dad was not absent in any way and I'm close to him beyond measure but I really believe my life has been genuinely more positive by also having my step father in it.

Guess I just wanted to spread a little appreciation to those of you who, like me (if I do say so myself), are doing damn well at what can sometimes be a thankless, uneasy, difficult but often lovely job!

Yet her mum hates me. I don't know why..

It's such a shame when this happens. I understand it's hard knowing someone else is spending time to your child etc... But it's far better that they have a good step parent who treats them well than one who doesn't!

I've been quite lucky in that I've never had too much bother with DHs ex. She's a great mum and has never bad mouthed me to the kids or anything like that, always friendly etc... There's been a few occasions that have left me a bit but nothing major. The first time DH had to nip out and leave the children with me for an hour she kicked off with him (we'd been together years by this point) until a week later when she needed someone to watch them and DH wasn't available. All of a sudden I was good enough surprisingly!

I can't complain too much though, she's been far more pleasant than some I've read on here.

My DH is a fantastic step dad to my son and is a massive support with his ASD. My DS also has an absolutely fantastic step mum who also gives him all the love and support he needs alongside his bio dad. She treats him as her own and I really respect her and it makes me feel so comfortable when he is with her knowing he is safe and loved and he adores both his step parents. I always tell him he's a lucky boy to have four parents and I'm thankful we can all get on and all have his best interests at heart.

My DH has a nice stepdad. He is a wonderful grandad to our little girl.

I always say she is extra loved as she has 3 grandads who adore her - my dad, then DH's dad and stepdad.

I recently attended a wedding where the bride’s stepfather walked her down the aisle, even though her dad was there. I thought it was an amazing testament to the positive impact he had in their lives.

it is good to hear so many people have such positive experiences of a step parent. My ex, unfortunately, seems to pick the wrong women and we have had nothing but problems and, frankly, abuse.

I suppose it depends on the parent too, I'd like to think a decent one would not continue a relationship with anyone who was treating their children poorly!

It's hard! There's been times when I've thought is this worth it? But then for every time I've felt like that there's been two where I've thought it definitely is!

My children’s stepmum is awesome. I'm really glad they have her in their lives.

Looking around at families I know the success of a step relationship seems to depend largely on the 'other' parent, usually the mother. There seem to be a lot of women whose relationships have broken down for whatever reason who are very resentful of another woman coming into 'her' child's life and seem hell-bent on causing trouble. Surely your role as a parent is to make your child's life happy and if the step-parent does that then whatever has gone before with the other parent you should be mature enough to accept that. Obviously if the step was in some way involved in the break-up then it will be hard to do but it's still about your child and not you.

My step dad came into my life when I was 5. I called him Dad ever since. He's the most amazing man, he's helped me through thin and thick (financially, morally, everything) and I owe him a lot.

As far as I'm concerned, he's my father.

My step dad is a hero. He came into my life when I was 4, right after my parents split and I, being a daddy's girl, hated him on principle. I was pretty awful to him until I was about 10 and not once did he blame me, hold it against me or treat me and my two brothers any differently to my youngest brother (who is his bio son). I know I can count on him, no matter what the problem is.

I am still close to my dad, but he's more of a good mate. My step dad is the parent.