If MN was a person...

[ethelfleda]

That person would have high IQ, high EQ, not own a toilet brush, have naice ham in the fridge at all times, earn a 6 figure salary AND be able to make a chicken last a whole week.

AIBU to ask, if MN was a person - who would it be??

Tumbleweed. How embarrassing for me.

Permanent cat bum face. Stripy top. Eats HUGE salads. Giggles into their phone at the prospect of saying 'HTH' 'did you mean to be so rude?' or 'no is a complete sentence' ... But never would in real life. Has a tinkly little laugh. Is blacklisted by 101.

I often think about it and can see them now ... I've seen people and thought they're Mumsnet personified

YY to cat's bum face. Eats one square of 'good quality' dark chocolate a week and thinks two slices of pizza in one sitting is the height of gluttony. Once drank an entire bottle of wine to herself, Googled AA meetings the next day.

Children called Noah and Esme, both of whom are 'spirited and vibrant' and are only ever bathed in warm water and asses milk because 'I don't want to put CHEMICALS on my children's skin'. Apart from their daily coating of Factor 50, of course. Esme's lunchbox contains a hummus sandwich made with one slice of granary bread, apple segments and four carrot sticks. Noah wears a princess costume.

Donates orzo and puy lentils to the foodbank and considers self 'woke' for doing so.

Husband has 'good' job, hates football and drinks two pints of craft ale per year. Cycles for fun, causing much upset re: 'opting out of family life' as his daily 45 minute train commute with his nose in someone else's stinking armpit is considered sufficient 'me time'.

Guardian reader, refugee/economic migrant welcomer, cool mum

AIBU would be a superior bitch who is nasty just because she can be, but still be the popular Queen Bee even though she’s often horrible, because sometimes she’s bang on the money and occasionally hilarious.

Chat would be flighty, fun with a tinkly laugh and a lot of knowledge of random stuff. Bubbly, confident, always participates in group activities.

... and I hope, as it's 3 in the morning, that comment doesn't get spotted and deleted for a while

Donates orzo and puy lentils to the foodbank and considers self 'woke' for doing so

Her children are tall and skinny, and extremely bright.

Her SIL is a bitch, her DM a narcissist and her GP wants to fob her off.

Judgemental, narcissistic, hysterical.

So I’m guessing if MN was a person, you wouldn’t like her very much?

I think I would like her, but in small doses. I have an acquaintance who matches a lot of these qualities - I enjoy her company but can find her frankness a bit too much sometimes