Would this irritate you? MIL

[YellowAndPinks]

DH and I have a two year old son. MIL very occasionally buys DS clothes but buys them for a certain occasion. For example for my birthday meal she bought him an outfit beforehand "for him to wear to the party". She has done this on three occasions and then DH insists we dress him in the clothes MIL has selected. I think it's controlling. If she wants to give a gift then fine but not to dictate when DS should be wearing it. AIBU and uptight? I have a few problems with MIL so don't know if this is colouring my opinions.

whitehalleve - I'd just say thanks and smile and then dress your child in whatever you want.*

Basically this . Tricky though when the DH is wanting to obey MIL. It's him you need to deal with.

Tell him directly ''Love - your mum doesn't get to chose DCs clothes ok? It's weird.'' Go from there ...

Over the two years how many times have you complied? I would have thought if you could fudge it and not use the outfit (get it messy, it's in the wash. it doesn't fit, it made him itch, i couldn't find it this morning, he tore the knee while falling down) ... for 2 or 3 occasions she'll stop.

MIL tried it once with me (going home from hospital after birth no less!) and i didn't do it and she didn't try again.

Only you really know what your MILs intentions are likely to be. For me, once might be nice/kinda sweet but for every family event it feels like it's heading into the controlling territory.

Just say he had a poop accident so you had to change him. Can't argue with that.

Poo accident's a gooden' !

My exMil used to do this with my DS. She’d buy him an outfit and say it’s for his birthday party/Christmas/someone’s wedding but I started saying “Oh that’s nice but I’ve already got his outfit”
His 1st birthday there was a hoohar because exH and I had not long split up and she presented me with a God awful ensemble saying he must wear it at his 1st birthday party.
My response was “Oh are you throwing him a party for your side of the family? That’s nice, make sure you send me a pic of him in it”. And I swanned off

A bit bad of me but she might think she's being nice - unless its stuff you hate, I'd then probably lie and say he was wearing it when you were leaving and tipped a drink all over it or something

My mother used to do this-all the bloody time
Then if I didn’t put them in the shabby/well washed/falling to bits/cheap and nasty clothes/shoes/coats she’d hit the roof
(Still made me pay for this tat tho)
My biggest regret in life is not telling her where to shove them...

How did this all start? Is it possible she thinks the clothes you put DC in are scruffy or too casual for the occasion? Or does she think she is lessening a financial burden by helping you out? I would be irritated by this too. My MIL often presents my DC with outfits they don’t like and in colours my DD really doesn’t suit. I feel your pain! I feel trapped now too, as if I say ‘ DD is pale and blond and looks positively washed out in the pale grey and baby pink clothes you buy her’ she will know I’ve held this in for 9 years!

I used to do the same as your mil to my sister’s kids because she’d send them out in old / scruffy / too small / dirty clothes otherwise.

My XMIL would do this for DD when she was younger, she'd always wanted a girl so made the most of it when we had DD.
I would take 2 outfits & change DD part way through - she'd get dirty!! So XMIL got the pics of her in her choice of outfit, and then I put her in mine!!!!

and it makes her happy, so why not?

And if t makes OP unhappy - tough shit

V controlling and we had same.

Mil has given herself unelected and certainly undeserving title of family stylist.

She buys herself beautiful outfits... And everyone else.. Less...

Very controlling.

Oh that's lovely, but a bit loose/ long. Why don't we save this for [insert less salubrious event] maybe it will fit then.

My MIL did this to SIL so I knew she would do it to me. I ignored her. She just wanted to be able to say “I bought that” when showing the photographs I think but the outfits were actually not my taste.

Luckily DH didn’t remember anything she’d sent apart from one outfit which I refused to even contemplate putting on as it was dungarees without leg poppers! DH decided to put it on regardless just for a photo... DS pooped everywhere and it just exploded up the back, front and down the legs. By the time DH had struggled to get it off, poop was everywhere.

He binned it.

OP, Just tell her thank you but you’ve already sorted an outfit, that you like to choose the outfits yourself. If she still does it the she’s doing it TO you, not FOR you and you can act accordingly.

I’d hate this. Next time you need to put her straight ‘oh that’s lovely but i already have something picked out, thanks anyway’

I like to buy DD clothes and return /exchange a lot of stuff. They’re only little once and it’s nice to choose yourself.