AIBU to despise people who can't keep their anger/disappointment to themselves

[dyakiki]

And more specifically, prefer to bring everyone down/pick fights. Being a bitch/dick only creates tension and doesn't resolve whatever has caused the issue. Why are some people void of any self-constraint? "D"sis I'm talking to you.

Tell me I'm not the only person with a disproportionate number of selfish twats in their immediate family.

Sick of being the only person holding it in.

Ironic?

By holding it in do you mean being pa if so yabvu

Holding it in=not lashing out and causing a scene.

E.g sister agreed to give me a lift after a recent interview. Turns up 1 and a half hours late (I had been up since 5) but I decide not to express my disappointment as I would prefer a peaceful car journey/know it was unintentional.

Similar thing in reverse happens today and sister loses her mind and attacks me on multiple fronts.

I agree. There are times when I feel irrationally frustrated or irritated and could unfairly lash out at other but I don’t, because it’s incredibly unfair on them. Self control is very important.

Sorry that you’ve been treated badly, OP.

Frankly, your conflict resolution strategy sounds just as dysfunctional as theirs.

Who on earth wouldn't express annoyance at someone else being 90 mins late? Being passive aggressive is not automatically superior to being aggressive. Both of you need to find a middle ground.

Do you really mean "people who inflict their misery on other people rather than address their issues".
I don't think holding stuff in is good or anyone, but neither is taking it out on others.

YANBU. My Dad was like this so I decided to go NC. Oh my god the fall out from going NC, he wanted to get social services involved because his adult 28 yo daughter doesn’t talk to him 😳

Some people are just beyond help OP. I’m not someone who gets angry or loses their temper often so when I see people behaving like that I just think you’re a mess lol.

My dad was like this - very quick to anger and the rest of us had to put up with it. Mum was a peacemaker - she had to be because with two temperamental types it would have been constant warfare. Only with hindsight it is clear that we enabled the bad behaviour.

I blame social media! (i do for most things )

Bloody drama queening all over the place to get attention ... it's like some people think they live in a soap opera! There is a middle ground between stiff upper lip and theatrical dramatics about every little thing, and that's where i try to stay.

My father is like this. I hate him for his, what I describe as, ‘emotionally incontinent’ behaviour.
I have very low tolerance for people picking fights and causing scenes out of nowhere because of my childhood experiences and avoid these kind of people like the plague. Often they are bullies who think they can get what they want by intimidating others with their behaviour.

I express myself but in a manner that is controlled.

Sister just walked out of my flat, no explanation.

Yes, my dad was like this when I was growing up but has somewhat mellowed out now he is retired/less pressure. My mum, brother and I are always the peacemakers.

I'd rather have someone scream at me than be passive aggressive.

Saying nothing after my interview was not a good example as I was extremely exhausted. I do express myself but don't pick fights/lash out like others in my family.

I'm never passive aggressive.

I'd rather have someone scream at me than be passive aggressive

Any grown adult who “screams” is an absolute abusive mess who needs help.

It shouldn't so often be coming down to a choice between screaming and passive aggressiveness. Behaving Like A Reasonable Adult is a third option. Seems a less and less common position to take these days though sadly.