I always feel a bit weird around my birthday. I loved them as a child but I have a very small circle of friends and family so now find birthdays a bit of a nonevent and there's like this... pressure to be having a happy day. I think tbh whilst I'm mostly very content with my lot, birthdays make me feel a bit inadequate that I don't really have friends who want to celebrate me!
My husband is working late on my birthday and every other day that week (not his choice) but wants to organise cake etc and have me do that with the kids. I've done this previous years but it's really for the kids and just another chore for me. He also suggested celebrating several days later when he's free and I can't see the point - my birthday would be past and anyway, it'd still just be him and me and the kids (and he's on a restrictive diet for medical reasons atm so can't eat together).
I slightly dread the thing at work (we all put in fixed sums for birthdays) where they present my gift, and I feel uncomfortable getting a gift from the inlaws (which happens when they see me, not on the day) because I feel it's an obligation.
Am I just being horrible? Does anyone else feel this way? I don't know why what should be a happy day just feels a bit uncomfortable for me.
(By the way, I am very close to my mum and she'll send a loving and generous gift so it isn't a 'birth' related issue, if that makes sense!)