Help (do you ever feel like this?)

[user4622137555382992]

My children have signed up for a summer sport thing. It requires parent participation - one parent per child (I didn't know this when they signed up). There are loads of parents there I know. First week was ok, but now I just can't face going. I get so anxious. I can't face talking to all the smiley, perfect, parents.

I'm sitting in the car. DH and 2 x DCs have gone in, I said I'd park then join them but I can't face it.

Do you ever feel like you just don't want to see anyone or speak to anyone ? Especially shcool mum's you half know () I know it's pathetic, but I can't face it ...

Anyone?

I think the school mum situation is a difficult thing, almost like being back in school yourself. It's almost like you can't win, you become really friendly and you end up caught in arguments, you keep yourself to yourself an you look like you aren't making an effort.
Don't worry about them - just go in, have fun with your children and don't worry about the other mums!

I bet you anything that some of the other parents in there are feeling exactly the same. Some will be thinking "FFS I'd rather be pulling out my own teeth than doing this". Some will be genuinely enjoying it

I think a lot of parenthood is about gritting your teeth and doing The Thing because your children are enjoying it. This is one of those times. Reward yourself afterwards with a cream cake/stiff drink/whatever.

I don't understand what the issue is ?

Do you have agoraphobia ?

Or do you worry about what they will think of you ?

I know it's not that simple, but I always remind myself that the opinion of perfect strangers is absolutely worthless. Also, someone somewhere will absolutely always find fault with you, even if you were absolutely perfect.
And I'm 100% sure that some of these people don't have nearly as perfect a life as you imagine. Appearances can be very deceiving.

Do you have specific issues with yourself ? Things you're ashamed of ? If so, what can you do to fix them ?

Oh often! More that I just want to zone out and be in my own head. Maybe you’re an introvert who de-stresses better in their own company.

Take a book, knitting , paperwork ? Participate by being there on the edge ?

I don’t get involved with school Mum’s, it definitely does feel like being back at school yourself. We moved to a new town last year so my DC and I were the new faces in the relatively small school. I have tried smiling at a few Mum’s but mostly get ignored so I’ve given up trying. It’s not very nice and makes me feel like crap sometimes but there you go.

I understand it, it’s social anxiety and I’ve had it for years.

Yes. All the time.

All the time !

I was glad when my dc's school years were over. I hated all the faux socialising, cliques, competitiveness and feeling like you have to perform

Sorry you are feeling like this. I am a private person, at my happiest at home in my own space. There is nothing wrong with that. Even when I go on holiday I like solitude.

Yes, all the time! I'm definitely not part of the "clique", so it always feels a bit uncomfortable for me - even though they are pleasant enough. I don't enjoy forced socialising and this is what this feels like with school events! I grin and bear it for my DD, but understand exactly how you feel.

Thanks all :) nice to know Im not the only one that feels this way. I don't mind complete strangers, it's the familiar faces which are hardest as I feel I have to say hi, be smiley, make small talk (which I hate) etc...

Thanks for you kind words

Oh I hate it too, dreading the school fair...

I hate it too. I'm so thankful they're now at secondary and there are very few events I have to attend. I felt so guilty for dreading every nativity, school fete, sports day and assembly.

I often feel like this. I just wish I was invisible sometimes.