to ask what help disabled parents get?

[Sleepyhead11]

I am TTC for the moment with my partner, but I have moments of extreme doubt and worry. I want a child and we are in a stable relationship/both working, but I only work part time. We are on the autistic spectrum and I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which is OK at the moment although I have had to come off my meds to TTC.

I went to the GP with my concerns and she said that as inlaws live nearby and are supportive, and as we both have good friends this will help. She spoke about importance of a support network.

I'm still worried though. Last week posted about having a huge panic attack and maybe this was part of it.

Please be gentle. Thank you.

*they're

Home start is my immediate thought x

If you both have ASD diagnoses the child is very likely to be autistic too. So you are likely to also be parenting a disabled (if that’s the right word) child. I’m not sure if that’s easier or harder if you have the same condition. My DH the was told he’s borderline ASD during an adhd assessment. Our eldest is also adhd and now suspected borderline ASD. It’s bloody hard work and I have to cater to her needs which make no sense to me. DH finds her easier but struggles with our youngest who is more sensitive and unlikely to have ASD (probably has ADD). It’s easier if you have money and we are lucky we can pay for some help and medical care, but still very tough. Plus worrying about whether she will be ok when she’s an adult. I have chronic pain issues caused by pregnancy and take painkillers daily. I had a day where I could barely move and asked about help, it’s only available via social services apparently so I just carried on struggling. Parenting is really hard even without problems. It is easier now they are in school and I’m working. If you both work and have childcare that will balance things more.

@CheerfulMuddler that is true, it's people saying things and expecting me to read between the lines through body language which is most difficult. Same for DP. We have a beautiful cat and I adore him. I guess animals are more direct. Thank you x

Its not just that there is little support, its also that some agencies still can't get their head round you being both disabled and a parent. You sometimes get sent from one department to another and back again, and some pretty rude comments.

It’d be worth looking to see if you have a children’s centre near you. I have four within walking distance and the ones here are fantastic. They are places you can go with baby. They run classes and drop in, and they can get you in touch with homestart etc.