to ask about adding teachers on social media?

[bicpens34]

DD1 and DS1 are in year 12. They both turn 18 in November.

DS is very quiet, had a hard time with bullying and such throughout secondary education and as a result made quite close relationships with some of his excellent teachers who helped him through it all over the 5 years. He got the emails of those particular teachers to keep in contact with at the end of Y11, a year ago and they told him that when he turns 18 he can add them on Facebook/Instagram to make it easier to keep in touch. DD on the other hand was in the 'popular' group in secondary, stayed at their school sixth form, whereas DS is at another one now, and only got on with a couple of her teachers as her friendship group was a bit of a loud, bossy nightmare for most teachers.

Here is where it gets messy: in a few months they will be adults and DS is set on adding those teachers (who he still emails regularly about his courses etc) on Instagram. What I want to know is if that is allowed as I read somewhere that teachers can't have former pupils on social media until 5 years after they leave school have gone by. Well it has only been 1 for DS.

DD is at the same school for sixth form but does different subjects DD is at the same school for sixth form but does different subjects to the ones of the two teachers who teach the lower school who's emails she has and stays in contact with as she hardly sees them in school.
DD has found out about DS and when she is 18 she wants to add these teachers too. AIBU to tell her that it's inappropriate as she is still at their school and still will be in Y13 when she is 18. But I am not too sure about the laws/formalities for DS as it is slightly different for him.

Any advice?

I'd never ever accept a friend request from a pupil or parent, regardless of age

Not sure on any laws but I would not accept a friend request from a pupil at all. We have very specific rules in our Local Authority

@ballsdeep Exactly what I thought but Ds is insisting as he's an ex pupil and they did tell him to add him once he's an adult, I just don't know if it is a good idea.

I'm a teacher and know some who would accept the request. I don't understand it though. The thought of having an ex pupil on my social media makes me cringe. I bet most teachers feel the same.

Ah I think after a few years It doesn’t matter for what’s its worth I work in a school where 3 members of staff were actually taught by 2 of the others 😂😂 they are now colleagues and friends 🤷‍♀️

I haven't ever accepted a friend request from a pupil, past or present. But I know some people do.

I would think it were fairly simple really if for some reason you did want to: someone who is currently a pupil at the institution where I am teaching, regardless of age - definite no. Someone who is no longer a pupil as above - OK. If someone left but ended up coming back, I would delete them.
Nothing to do with age.

I have ex pupils, as do all my colleagues, added when they left 6th form. BUT these are professional accounts as opposed to personal ones. A couple of them, now in their late 20s I see as friends and occasionally socialise with. Im in my 50's and I socialise with several of my own ex teachers.

Usually there'll be a school policy.

When I was in the U.K. ours was 'let 3 years elapse & still no if there are younger siblings at the school'.

He could ask the teachers he gets on with?

Are you sure they did "tell him to add them"? Seems very strange. I'd be very surprised if any teacher did this. I always assume if a colleague has an ex pupil on social media that they somehow know the expupil outside school (family or hobby) and that it's the pupil who has asked them to add.

I probably wouldn’t add your son because your daughter is still at the school ifyswim.

I have occasionally added ex pupils who want to stay in touch but it’s very rare and only after they have been gone a couple of years. They get put on the restricted list straight away too!

I don’t think there’s a hard and fast law on this. But common sense says after they’ve been gone at least a year. I’ve never known a school where it would be ok if pupil still in the school.

To be clear I don’t mean I added them more I accepted their friend request.

We are talking 2/3 pupils in 15 years though!

I used to chat on MSN messenger with a teacher who left my school when I was 15/16 in hindsight that was wildly inappropriate. Although nothing ‘happened’ as an adult it makes me feel ick.

I have ex students but never current students. It's generally friends on while they are still at the school.

I'm friends with teachers I had when at high school, college and uni. They're honestly some of the best people I know, and they seem to adore a lot of their students aswell

I would just leave it up to the teachers to decide whether they want to accept either of them- I don’t have teens but seems a lot of fuss about nothing?

I teach university level, and allow students to add me on Instagram after they graduate, no current students, although we do have a class Twitter (not my personal profile, specifically for work) which is very useful. I don’t have Facebook. Keeping in touch with them us useful, I get them to come in as guest speakers, and some I meet up with for coffee/lunch on occasion. They are older though, and I never taught them when they were under 18.

I have ex pupils as friends on social media. I teach early years/KS1 and they are all now in their 20s at least (seem to have been doing the job for 100 years), some in their 30s. It doesn't feel inappropriate at all.

Our school policy is wait at least a year to accept a friend request from an ex-pupil who has left but there are always kids they’re friends with that are still at the school or siblings...

I accepted a request from a couple of kids one year then deleted them as I went on a night out and wanted to post some pictures but didn’t feel I could with having them as friends. I did see them a while after and explained and they understood.

I’m friends with my old Y6 tutor on FB as are a lot of other kids from my year/the year below. It’s not so weird with it being 20 odd years on but I still don’t really want to accept recently left children. I’d maybe accept some ex- pupils from my old school now that I’m gone. It’s nothing personal just maybe a bit too close.

I still get emails from a couple of kids I used to teach at my old school and I find that a lot nicer actually. Firstly because I rarely get emails that aren’t work or spam and because it feels much more personal rather than just following someone’s life from snippets of information if bay makes sense?

My mum was a teacher and when kids asked if she would friend them on FB she would say “why? You already have friends, I already have friends, you don’t want me as a friend surely?”

I wouldn't but I know some staff that do.

It is highly inappropriate.
Give it 10 years, when they will no longer have siblings / mates still at school, and pupils will hopefully be more mature, then not an issue, but highly inappropriate for any former pupil under about 26 - 28.
Teachers need to revisit their safeguarding training if they are accepting friends requests on any social media from current, or very recently former pupils.

I cringed the other day as a teacher I used to have teaches my son and remembered me! I wouldn't actually want to add them on social media! But saying that I have an ex teacher of my children on my social media as she loves to see them and a current teacher in the school (doesn't currently teach my children) but our older children are the same age and have been friends for years!. School will (should) have a social media policy, I know I do (not in a school)

Is it the norm for pupils to email teachers once theyve left school? That seems odd too. Wonder if the teachers have stipulated the when you're 18 bit knowing that once most folk have left school theyll forget the idea of adding them. Possibly trying to subtly prevent it

I have ex students. As do many colleagues. Current students - no!