To feel guilty

[Ohkayyy]

That I can't just be satisfied with my life.

I've posted before about my struggles with fertility and multiple miscarriages (8 now in 2 years).

I have a wonderful DH, great step kids, a nice house, good job and a family who love me but I'm not satisfied.

I feel awful that it isn't enough. I'm on ADs at the moment to help with the anxiety I was having. I wish I could just accept that my life is ok without this one thing but I'm struggling to see the positives.

I feel terribly guilty on DH, he works so hard to give us a good life. If he could fix this problem he would.

I just feel like I'm floating through, not really enjoying any of it. I'll have days where I'll laugh and be okay but there's never one where I don't think about it at all.

Sorry OP I don't have the answers for you but I've been there and it can be incredibly lonely. I hope you have support in place

Op, don’t judge yourself. Listen to yourself as you would a good friend.
If you do that the feelings will come up, and pass through. If you judge your thoughts and feelings , you squash them down, don’t get adequate expression and you don’t get to heal or move on.
I work with people who are traumatised (some by miscarriage) and this is how people move through their feelings.
If you feel overwhelmed at the thought of feeling all that disappointment and grief, find some counselling or a somatic therapist.

Your feelings are just information about what’s going on in you. Treat yourself kindly listen to yourself and get support if you need it.

All the best to you in this op