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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask my MIL to rinse dishes after washing up with Fairy

249 replies

Oriole · 25/07/2007 17:48

My MIL often offer to do the washing-up when she is staying with us. At first I was happy with this, but soon I noticed that she didn't rinse them off after washing with Fairy in the sink. I had a talk with her about this, still I see some foam in salad bowls and cups.

Is it unreasonable to ask my MIL again to rinse dishes after washing up with Fairy?

OP posts:
Wisteria · 25/07/2007 19:09

I know I'm probably showing my ignorance but it's been bugging me for ages - what does PFB mean???

Katy44 · 25/07/2007 19:11

precious first born

i.e. the one who, when they do their first pooey nappy (rather than meconium) you call their daddy over to have a look, and both coo over it for a while

Malfoynomore · 25/07/2007 19:11

Precious First Born

SpamFritter · 25/07/2007 19:12

Wheelie bin - verything goes in bags. Scrub it out occasionally and I mean occasionally.

Recycling bin gets more of a clean. Why can you never get the last bit out of a lager can but the minute you chuck it in the recycling, there it is?!

Beachcomber · 25/07/2007 19:13

French people think it is very strange and horrid to not rinse dishes. For them it is the equivalent of not washing shampoo out of your hair properly, except worse because you end up eating the residue from the soap.

MadEyemarthamooDy · 25/07/2007 19:14

Just how much Fairy do you rinsers put in your washing up bowl? I only put a dot, don't rinse, and my dishes certainly don't have any soapy film or nasty soap taste on them.

Mind you, I have a dishwasher these days so only hand wash pans and wine glasses.

Katy44 · 25/07/2007 19:14

Very true - or when you lift it up to throw it in the recycling thing it dribbles down your arm
I never clean out my wheelie bin - it disgusts me. You can pay people to clean them can't you? What do you look for in the yellow pages??

krang · 25/07/2007 19:14

I stopped worrying about germs on keys and bins after my PFB happily ate first his own poo, then some cat sick, and was fine...

(Not on the same day, incidentally. I am not quite that bad a mother)

Katy44 · 25/07/2007 19:15

pans
PANS?
They are what dishwashers were invented for!!
IMO

Katy44 · 25/07/2007 19:15

krang, good point!

tissy · 25/07/2007 19:18

don't wash wheelie bin, BUT

washing up- of COURSE you have to rinse, otherwise your plates are covered in a mixture of detergent, water and food residue/ grease.....bleargh

dh didn't belive that i could taste the difference between a mug that had been rinsed, and one that hadn't, until I gave him a taste test and he agreed with me

no tea towels in this house either- very insanitary things.

Katy44 · 25/07/2007 19:20

I have tea towels but wash them every day, plus we don't wash up that much so they don't get a lot of use.
And I only use them to clean the floor three times then they're straight in the wash

Original poster
Oriole · 25/07/2007 20:57

There's always a way to discuss a delicate subject I didn't said anything about how she did them. Actually, I always say "Thank you"

Probably, it's time to think about getting a dishwasher

P.S. Thanks for enlarging my vocabulary. I've learned several new words.

OP posts:
macmama73 · 25/07/2007 21:10

lol, and I thought my MIL was strange for rinsing dishes! She is German though, so maybe it is a strange continental thing.

My DH sometimes wipes our DCs faces with a (used) dishtowel, not that is totally disgusting!

pinkyminky · 25/07/2007 21:35

My MIL NEVER does anything to help at our house, she just sits and wibbles on and asks for cups of tea. She even brought her own soup spoon and bowl to eat a cup a soup she had brought for herself when `'helping' me after csection with dd2. wouldn't eat my dh's wonderful homemade soup with a regular spoon, and she left them in the sink for me to wash. I washed up for her once and she held everything up to the light afterwards. I never did the dishes there again. So on one hand I would love to criticise her washing up, just to see the look on her face, but on the other, if you have a MIL who actually does things to help,maybe keep it to yourself. IKWYM, though. My mum is a bit chaotic in her methods, but she really tries to help and is great with my babies.
And BTW our house is clean, in case you were wondering
Use tea towels sometimes and I usually rinse the dishes, but we do have a dishwasher.
weelie bin- I occasionally rinse it out with disinfectant, but always wash my hands after putting rubbish out.

Brangelina · 25/07/2007 22:07

Not rinsing dishes is a (IMO very yucky) British habit. I've lived all over the world and only the Brits leave suds on their washing up. I've never understood the logic behind it tbh.

And no, I'm not a manic perfect housewife nor do I suffer from OCD. I'm actually quite slovenly, I just think it a bit more than foul ingesting chemical residue and other floaty bits. Or can someone perhaps explain the health benefits if there are any?

When we lived in the UK I always used to decline offers of washing up, unless it was from good friends who either knew about my "continental obsession" or wouldn't get offended by me explaining that I needed it to be rinsed. I used to stand over an old boyfriend to make sure he rinsed every last sud off the dishes . He later admitted to me that drinks tasted better out of a rinsed glass and evangelised about it to all his friends and family for years afterwards (wow, what an impression I made in his life).

I agree about the rinse aid, it is foul stuff. The odd times I do use it I, ahem, re rinse all my DD's plastic plates and cutlery. Most times I don't bother or use a dash of lemon juice or white vinegar instead. Works just as well but without that horrible chemical aftertaste.

nightowl · 25/07/2007 22:31

yabu and ungrateful.

paulaplumpbottom · 25/07/2007 22:33

You are so not unreasonable, it drives me crazy when people do this. I would have just asked someone to take a load off and I would have done them myself though. Luckily most people know I am funny about my kitchen and leave it to me

DoubleBluff · 25/07/2007 22:38

Rinsing dishes eh?
You learn something new everyday.
( Muppetgirl i hang my head in shame with you)

Spidermama · 25/07/2007 22:39

YABU. Big time. She must be very offended. Can't you just put up with it and accept the help? It won't kill you.

nightowl · 25/07/2007 22:39

i rinse, always. but if someone's helping me i wouldn't expect it...ooohhhhh help...yes that would be nice

cornsilk · 25/07/2007 22:40

Rinsing dishes after washing them? This has got to be a wind up!

Spidermama · 25/07/2007 22:43

Corny I always rinse to get the soap off. My brother doesn't and I see the foamy pile of dishes by my sink but I wouldn't dream of saying anything. How ungrateful and rude.

Sorry Oriole.

cornsilk · 25/07/2007 22:44

But you must go well overboard with the fairy to get loads of suds. maybe I'm just stingy!

privacynomore · 25/07/2007 22:45

i was shocked stiff when i came to the uk, and saw english people stick their dirty dishes in fairy, and then just stick them on teh drainer........
how could they do that? leave the dirt and the soap on them??///

howeve i am older and wiser now, and realise that no one will die from ingesting a little bit of detergenty water.

i do think that it is unreasonable to ask your mil to rinse them however. it's the way she washes up. and if she is being kind enough to do them, then it is churlish of you to say she isnt doing them properly. either accept her ways. or dont accept her offer to do the washig up.