Nc for this.
Background. Married for 5 years, 2 dc (4&1). I have a degree and pgce and he is in the armed forces. I became pregnant with dc1 unexpectedly not long after I graduated, and did my pgce while pregnant with dc2. So we could be together as a family, I moved to be with him at 2 of his military postings (one abroad [dc1] , one UK [dc2 and pgce] ). It wasn't my dream to be a teacher but we discussed and felt it would fit well for our family, given his career meant he was away so much.
Tonight we were talking about future finances. I suggested that once we have both hit the same earning (e.g as and when we are both earning £30k for example) we pay 50% of the household/childcare/etc costs, and have the rest of our respective wages to ourselves. Then as we climb our career ladders and earn more, we have more for our own personal spend. I suggested this because my dh isn't the greatest with money, likes to spend and struggles to save and doesn't seem very motivated to climb the career ladder but has been a bit pushy for me to try earn a lot.
He told me I was a selfish b*tch and that he has given me my kids, he's paid for them while iv been sat on my ass not making use of my education and that I moan about having to parent alone (he lives 4 hours drive away for work but comes home most weekends, also goes away for months at a time with work). This discussion turned to a bit of an argument so I walked away and he said that I could forget having the lie in he promised me in the morning (kids aren't great sleepers and I haven't had much sleep since he was last back 2 weeks ago. He originally said I could sleep in and try get myself feeling back to normal but now he says I'm not allowed)
Who is being unreasonable?