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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Ask If you were me, what situation would you pick?

29 replies

Missmummy88 · 21/06/2019 17:36

So I currently work 4 days a week in a very flexible tech firm. I have two children 4 & 7 who come September will both be in schools (albeit different schools). With such flexible employment terms I am considering one of the following options : continue with 4 days a week work (one from home) but have to arrange after school care for two kids three days a week (only until about 5 as I usually finish at 4.30) or split my working across 5 days 9.30-2.30 allowing me to do all pick ups and drop offs and not have to worry about childcare but also will lose my me day (which is really a day to catch up on housework and chores before the weekend begins!)

What would be more appealing to you?

OP posts:
WillowSummerSloth · 21/06/2019 17:39

Definitely working 4 days. I think you need the catch up day for your sanity. And you're collecting the kids at 5pm which is not a long day for them.

JollyGiraffe · 21/06/2019 17:39

Option 2

Friedspamfritters · 21/06/2019 17:40

I think I'd do the second option as the younger one will probably be less tired if he comes straight home then maybe change in a few years so you get your day back.

singymummy · 21/06/2019 17:43

Option one for sure.
5pm is not late and having that extra day in the week for you to sort stuff is invaluable.

GodolphianArabian · 21/06/2019 17:45

Option 1 so you feel the benefit of working part-time you can also get time to yourself. Option 2 you're either at work or have the kids.

DorisDay88 · 21/06/2019 17:47

Please do option 2 - both children will be absolutely fine until 5.00pm and you can spend all weekend with them without worrying about housework chores etc
Lots of people would love to be in your position, life's too short, make the most of your opportunity

gamerwidow · 21/06/2019 17:47

4 long days is easier to find childcare for in the school holidays as well as giving you the catch up day during term time.

DorisDay88 · 21/06/2019 17:47

BlushHmmShock
Damn I meant option 1

gamerwidow · 21/06/2019 17:48

Ps I do 3 long days and I cannot value those 2 days if childfree peace highly enough.

AppleKatie · 21/06/2019 17:50

Keep the me time. Afterschool club for three days a week is worth the expense and the kids will be fine, probably love it.

LillithsFamiliar · 21/06/2019 17:54

I'd opt for working 5 days.

SunniDay · 21/06/2019 18:00

I would go for the 5 short days but be open to using after school club one or two days a week to get chores done/go shopping or visit the gym etc.

It's more flexible. When your little one first starts school they will be exhausted and won't have to do long days until you decide. If you are invited into school (play/sports day etc) there is lots of scope to ask to pop out and make up the time (using after school club or flexi time as below)

If you are on flexi time if your partner can sometimes do the drop off or pick up you can go in early or stay late and build up flexi time (or leave early for chores/peace)

Good luck

Awrite · 21/06/2019 18:00

In your position, I'd definitely choose option 1.

Less driving to and from work, children comfortable in childcare, 5pm is not late.

However, personally I'd work full time for my pension.

Biffsboys · 21/06/2019 18:02

I done exactly what your suggesting . I used to have a Wednesday off and went to 4 short days when ds started school . It was great not having to rely on anyone else to do drop off or pick ups .
I did miss my day off however. He is starting high school this year and I’m considering going back to 4 days .

onefatblackcat · 21/06/2019 18:12

Option 1 without a doubt.
Under option 2 you'll have no time to spend on yourself or any home admin, shopping, appointments etc, and will always be watching the clock because you can't get as much done in a short day at work - there is absolutely no flexibility in school hours, you have to be there when the bell goes. I've worked a number of different part-time arrangements, and five school days was definitely the most stressful for me trying to juggle everything.

clucky3 · 21/06/2019 18:12

I have been in almost exactly this situation. I initially chose to do the 5 short working days. 6m into that I realised how much it was stressing me out and switched to 4 longer days. The main issues were:

  • leaving work early every day is not ideal. I'm now a senior manager but I wasn't then and I think my chances of promotion were limited and I wasn't taken seriously as I was more obviously a part timer.
  • I really wanted to avoid additional childcare for my kids, not for financial reasons, but because they were only 4 and 2 and I wanted them with family as much as possible. In practice this was really stressful. I felt like I was always in a rush somewhere (school run then straight to work, hurrying at work because I only had a short day and had lots to fit in, then hurrying back to school). When I was home after school I always had half an eye on my work phone and often ended up working once they'd gone to bed. Also, it's a real pain having young children with you all the time you're not working. Any time I had to nip to the post office or run an errand I had to do it with them in tow.
  • working shorter hours meant all the domestic crap fell to me. I did every single school run and DH swanned of to work and came home whenever suited him.

Overall, it has been so much better for both my mental health and my career to work the longer days and accept that my kids will have some time in after school care. That one day on my own, even though it's only 6 hours was so great for getting some jobs done so that I could enjoy my weekends and evenings with the kids. I also managed to exercise, which I never could before. I also have a much better balance with my OH who now pulls his weight on the school run sharing.

The other option is a bit of a hybrid, which I currently do. I work full time now they are older and take advantage of a really flexible workplace to do three longer days and two short ones. The short ones are from home so on those days i can pick the children up from school. Working from home it's not so career limiting to stop at 3pm as it's far less visible.

FitandMiss · 21/06/2019 18:13

I'm in a similar position to you in that I do 4 days, although my days are short enough that I can make the school runs without needing any wrap around care. Some days it's tight though and I get DD into an after school club once a week to give me a longer day.

I did think about going for 5 really short days but the extra travel didn't make sense and I get loads done on my child free day, household stuff and sometimes even a bit of me time which I'd hate to give up.

I'd definitely stick with option one. Do you get flexi time so you can build up extra hours and use that to make an extra pick up every so often?(depending on how flexible after school care is)

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 21/06/2019 18:16

If you can afford the child care happily, I'd say Option 1. I work a short day Friday and I LOVE my Friday afternoons. Get a lot done, uninterrupted or have a nice block of time free. I wouldn't be in a hurry to lose it, if I were you.

forkfun · 21/06/2019 18:33

I've worked like your option 2 for 7 years now, and to be honest, I love it. It makes it really easy to be there for football matches, summer fairs, just time at the park with friends, etc. I know everyone at school, and work flies by. My youngest is 6 now, and I find I can easily do housework when we get home from school. I have to admit that my standards aren't super high though, and I'm Def not someone who mops every day or has a spotless home. DC happily play/have some screen time/do homes/help me with chores when we get home. I get shopping delivered one afternoon a week, so that's easy enough.
I find that on occasion I will continue working from home after we come back from school, but thankfully that doesn't happen too often.

lels99 · 21/06/2019 18:35

Option 2, but spend the money you would have spent on childcare on a cleaner

SandyY2K · 21/06/2019 18:38

I'd go for the 4 day a week option.

Having a day (or part of a day) to yourself is invaluable.

I've actually done close to both of those working patterns in the past... except I was doing the hours across 3 days...then changed to do the same hours across 5 days on a temporary basis.. due to childcare issues.

SandyY2K · 21/06/2019 18:39

Forgot to add...it was also good for when school assemblies or performances fell on a working day...I could swap and attend when I was on 3 days a week.

itsabongthing · 21/06/2019 18:40

I’d do option 2 for the first term whilst little one settling into reception, then plan to move to 4 days after Christmas

Expressedways · 21/06/2019 18:41

I’d personally do option 1. I wouldn’t want to lose my get stuff done day! And the kids will be fine with a childminder until 5. Working then rushing straight to pick up ever day will leave you a lot more knackered. I also think 4 full days makes work easier- people remember that you don’t work Fridays and it’s quite accepted these days. Always leaving early, not being available for afternoon meetings etc even when it’s a formal rubber stamped arrangement is often looked down upon. That probably depends on your firm though!

SegregateMumBev · 21/06/2019 18:44

4 day week! You make so much use of the full day for all those things that can't be done any other time, or me-time.