Is she a bully?

[ricardoshillyshally]

My 5yo daughter is in a friendship group of 3 in reception. Recently I have noticed she has started to instigate leaving out 1 of the other 2 girls, not wanting to wait for her after school, and today she has possibly hit her - just flapping at her by the sound of it but I didn't see.

She admits this but says it was 50/50.

My dd has a bit of form for this bullying(?) behaviour with her younger brother.

Looking for tips on how to handle and avoid it escalating, and possible fitting consequences / punishments?

Hate to think of her as a bully :(

Thanks in advance.

I think at that age they are old enough to be taught some empathy. I'd ask why she's leaving out one friend. If there's no reasonable answer, then say, 'Would you like it if I left you out?' Tun your back on her and say to her brother, 'Let's play/watch tv/have a biscuit but DD can't.' Exaggerate it a bit. Then turn to face her again and ask how it made her feel. If she says sad, tell her she has the power to make her friends feel happy when they see her, or sad. Which does she think is better and more fun? Etc.

It's a bit like hard work, but it's worth it. You don't want her to turn into a bully.

Thanks growling bear for your advice

Know your own child. I can imagine some kids if asked how that made them feel would be contrary on purpose and say happy.

Hi Ricardo. As an ex Reception teacher and mother of much older girls I would say there is a huge difference between children learning social interaction (of which reception is a huge part) and bullying. Just keep an eye on your daughter's friendships and if you're really worried check with her teacher or TA.

Gosh, you read like a very clued in
Mum.
It's not easy to see that your child may have some flaws.
Believe me every child has some. Just like us adults.

Children need guidance and a firm hand. They cannot lead us.

If you have spotted bullying behaviour, you can be guaranteed others have too.

Think hard about it, google best advice, weight it up and act.

Believe me, you do not want to be dealing in school with the backlash/ stigma of a perceived brat in the class.

Deal with it now, firmly.
If it's empathy. Deal with it.
Much easier in the long run.
👍